Lisa Stager

Lisa Stager sometimes goes by the name Captain Siren X. Redbloom and refers to her computer chair as a Command Chair so she can pretend she is on a starship. She is not a Trekkie, but would admit at knifepoint that a six-foot tall cardboard cutout of Commander Riker stands at attention on the bridge of her starship.

Ms. Stager is an activist for a multi-state and uni-member organization called The National Movement to Stop Plate Tectonics. She works diligently on this important project in ways she cannot describe. She wrote to the President about it and received a personal phone call from an alarmed Mr. Bush that went something like, "I am alarmed." (click) (call back) "We must (sniff) act with expeditienciery. Will it effect oil production? Tax cuts! More tax cuts!" Then after a very peculiar squealing sound, the line went dead again.

Siren bases her operations somewhere in Michigan, she is not exactly sure where, and spends an inordinate amount of time trying to convince her cat that she, too, is a cat. She remains ageless, and still finds it terribly amusing to belch the words "iguana" and "sonofabitch." With the exception of her brother, who taught her this delicate skill, her family finds it less so.

Captain Redbloom is pleased to report that she no longer wears her aluminum foil hat and socks as frequently as she used to.