Would the Real Mitt Romney Please Stand Up

#Humour

Thu, Aug 30th, 2012 10:00 by capnasty NEWS

If you want to know a little more about Mitt Romney before giving him your vote in the upcoming presidential elections, The New York Times' David Brooks provides "the definitive biography and a unique look into the Byronic soul of the Republican nominee."

Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words ("I like to fire people") at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

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