Top Ten Star Trek Episodes With Vile Q Puns Just Waiting to Happen

#Television

Mon, Jan 6th, 1997 02:00 by Jester ARTICLE

Almost all of the Star Trek episodes that feature Q has some sort of pun, such as "Q-Pid" or "Deja-Q." Some of them cute, others lame lame lame. What the Hell, for example, is "Hide and Q"?

10 "Suzie Q" featuring John DeLancie attending a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show dressed as Doctor Frank N. Furter. Crusher and Picard strip down to their underwear and do the Time Warp. The audience screams "Slut!" whenever Troi appears on screen, and "Asshole!" whenever Riker appears. Worf is not amused.

9 "IQ." Q becomes the host of a murderous version of Jeopardy. Riker fails to respond in the form of a question and so Q turns him into a bearded Mollusk.

8 "Ten-Q." Q runs around the Enterprise asking everyone "What's five Qplus five Q?" Whenever someone answers "Ten-Q," Q cries, "Oh, you're welcome!" and laughs uncontrollably. Worf is not amused.

7 "Q&A" Q hosts a mid-morning talk-show. Topics include "You Beamed Me Into A Cesspool and Now We're Splitsville" and "You Cheated on Me With A Klingon And Tribble, So I Cheated on You With a Pakled and A Denebian Slime Devil."

6 "Q-Ball." Q takes the form of a pool hustler and challenges Captain Janeway to a game of Boston for possession of the Voyager. Janeway consults a holodeck simulation of Minnesota Fats (special guest JackieGleason) for tips. Q defaults the game by reversing the gravitational constant of the universe and ripping the felt.

5 "Singin' the Qs" Q forms a Rhythm and Blues combo and tours various seedy bars throughout the Galaxy.

4 "Q Grit" Q creates a Western mock-up where he's a hard-drinkin' cussin' outlaw. Sheriff Picard must face him at High Noon. How can a six-gun take down a being who is a non-event with a probability of zero?

3 "Q Velvet" Q watches the films of David Lynch, including Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks, hoping that his 2,005 IQ will help him understand them. Q is later admitted to the A Continuum. (A for "Asylum.")

2 "Q-bert" Captain Picard discovers a way to finally rid the Enterprise of the omnipotent pest by getting him addicted to an early '80s arcade game.

And

1 On Deep Space Nine: "DS: I Love Q." Worf is not amused.

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