January Nelson of Thought Catalog has this amusing list explaining what a Twitter bios really says about the users that have them.
Some of my favourites:
"photographer." You've taken a photograph of a flower covered in rain droplets with the sole purpose of uploading it to Tumblr.
"Social Media Ninja." You signed up for Twitter and then let your account sit dormant for at least 365 days while repeating "I just... don't get Twitter" countless times to anyone who would listen before sending your second tweet. (Your first tweet: "Hello anyone out there... I don't get this lol")
"Stay-at-home mom. Live, laugh, love. Tweets a lot, but not a bot!" You spend 12/24 hours of your day retweeting Twitter contests. Example: "Tweet us your HAIRY moment to win 2 Schick razors! Plz RT & Follow!" DIAF.
|The (Incredibly Well Hung) Postman Always Rings Twice #nsfw|
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|“It’s taking orders for a real-life flying motorcycle powered by five modified jet engines.”|
|“By day, she visits morgues, observes autopsies, and studies pictures of crime scenes.”|
|What Nothing Really Means in Seinfeld|
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|“Featuring over 2,000 flags in motion to Ludwig van Beethoven.”|
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|The (Very Scary) People of Public Transit|
|“Without ads, how does Netflix manage to make money?”|
|“How easy it is for anyone who tracks our digital activities to gain insight into our personalities.”|
|“A chain of endlessly recommended YouTube videos made by strangers motivated by advertising dollars.”|