Rate Your Stay at the Osama Bin Laden Hideout


Tue, May 3rd, 2011 22:00 by capnasty NEWS

It was only a matter of time before this happened: proving that subtle humour -- despite the Internet -- is not a lost art, people have been rating the compound where Osama Bin Laden was hiding and have been giving it reviews. For example:

Aside from the complimentary dialysis machine use, easy underground access to Pakistan's beautiful vast cave system, and free toaster waffles, it's a pretty big dump. The food wasn't organic, the wifi was spotty at best, absolutely no cell coverage, (yelp reviews were so wrong on that one) and no one spoke English. To make it worse, the country's best basketball player, some 6'7" dude with a turban, gets shot our first night there. And the coffee was cold. We're so not coming back.


The front-desk courier service was exceptional at this location, he proved to be a wealth of information on the local surrounds. If you are looking for a rustic location in Abbottabad, to escape all the worries of the world, this may be an ideal location for you, perhaps only a brief stay may be advised..... Occasionally a rowdy group of foreigners have been known to drop into the location, however it is rumoured that they are actually quite enthusiastic and have been known to take former guests out boating to exotic locations. If you are feeling particularly extravagant I would highly recommend the presidential suite, where you are assured of extra special attention.

And how about this sage piece of marital advice:

I booked a room here long ago because I needed to get away from my crazy ex-wife. The rooms aren't the greatest, but I have successfully avoided her for almost ten years now.

The compound has, so far, received 3 out of 5 stars. How was your stay?



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