H E double L. My mother taught me not to cuss... or was it your mother? I'm not sure, but anywho... Who's going to H E double L? You? Me? Him? Her? I don't know, so I couldn't tell you. But I've developed a 3 question questionaire for you to answer. From the answers you send in, I'll be able to tell you if your some of your future workmates will be Hitla, Shmitla, and the rest of them Nazee bastardos once your time on this planet is over.
So here goes. Good luck, hopefully there aren't that many of you going to H E double L. If unfortunately, you are amongst those who are, worry not. If you have access to the internet, you have access to CoN. We're the only publication that will distribute to H E double L, besides Soap Opera Digest. Which would you prefer to read?
Question One:What's your sexual orientation?
Question Two:What's your racial background?
Question Three:Have you ever molested a child, killed, or raped?
Send your answers to me at [email protected], and in next issue I'll compile a list of readers who are going to H E double L, and who are going to A BETTER PLACE (a film by Vincent Pereria).
|Living a Year Biblically|
|Christian TV Networks Ready for Live Coverage of Jesus Christ's Return|
|Seculars Make Better Neighbours than Religious Believers|
|God Has Killed More People Than Satan|
|“To be a creator, not only a consumer.”|
|“A mass of meat, ready for human consumption, with no brain or wings or feet.”|
|CaptchaTweet: Write Tweets in Captcha Form|
|Recycled Vacuum Lamps|
|“Impossible Aerospace founder and CEO Spencer Gore hopes to make self-flying electric planes.”|
|The (Very Scary) People of Public Transit|
|How to Avoid Jury Duty|
|“World’s largest floatplane-only airline [...] to become an electrically powered airline.”|
|If Sir David Attenborough Restored Vintage Toys|
|“We are undergoing the greatest economic transformation in our history, and we are dealing with it by pretending nothing is happening.”|
|“An ingenious con to squeeze everyone for more money through recurring subscription fees from multiple streaming services.”|
|U.S.S. Enterprise Owner's Manual|