Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned From Scorpius

#Television

Tue, Jun 22nd, 2004 05:00 by Jester ARTICLE

Author's Note: Scorpius is the main villain of the regrettably cancelled scifi show Farscape. It saddens me that so few know his wisdom.

Share your personality. Inject it directly into their cerebrum.

If something is worth doing, it's probably also worth sacrificing an underling for.

Learn the value of patience.

Don't have a back-up plan. Have twenty.

Love and power, power and love. Revenge beats them both.

Leather is sexy, even if you look like a shrivelled old man underneath.

It just isn't sex without biting, strangulation, and the expenditure of a coolant rod. And it helps is she has extra appendages or can shift her centre of gravity.

Compartmentalise duplicity.

Take a little time to nuke the flowers.

The gentle ones pay for everyone else's ambition.

Love is transient, vaporous.

Draw your line well to the right of wherever your opponent drew his. Then step over it.

An abundant will to prevail trumps a limited mental capacity.

Tell half the story. Tell two thirds of the story. Tell one twentieth of the story. Never tell the whole story.

Always be suspicious of good news.

A show of strength is useless. Application of strength, however...

Are you dead? No? Then keep fighting.

Are you dead? Yes? Then keeping fighting.

If it matters to your enemy, it should matter to you.

The ends soooooo justify the means.

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