Articular Properties

#Humour

Mon, Nov 10th, 1997 05:00 by Milkshake ARTICLE

is your life missing something?
do you long for something different?
do you feel trapped in your current situation?
then do i have a religion for you!

GULLIBALISM

yes indeedy!

for the measely sum of 5 English pounds, i will relieve you of the burden of ALL your worldly possesions leaving you free to become a hunter-gatherer in the forests of Wapping. collecting berries and small rodents for nourishment.

and dont forget, to a woman, theres nothing more attractive than a naked neanderthal man with more hair than a plug-hole in a shared student bathroom. you'll be beating them off with a shitty-stick dammit. youll also receive a membership card but i can imagine where you'd keep it, well, i can, i just dont want to visualise that sort of thing, it would put me off my dinner.

THE BIG FIGHT OF THE FORTNIGHT
this fortnights big fight

Arnold the badger

Vs

Nige the biro

who do YOU think will win?

bear in mind, the badger, though vicious when angry, can be quite timid usually, also, dont under-estimate the ear picking qualities of a biro.

last fortnights fight
last fortnights fight was surprisingly won by the shrimp who was getting trounced but made a marvelous come back when he managed to get hold of a chair and repeatedly battered the manhole cover to bits. how he managed it is beyond me, i'd popped to the toilet and missed the end.

  1555

 

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