Almost barred on barf

#Art

Mon, Sep 15th, 1997 02:00 by capnasty ARTICLE

While pursuing one of the final credits for my Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree at a well known Toronto University, I happened to enter a class dealing with the politics of art, held at one of the most prominent art galleries in Ontario. As a term project, debates were assigned. Since my last name is what it is, I was given last pick. Fortunately or so I thought, I was assigned a rather interesting subject--that of Jubal Brown, the "barfing art critic." (1)

In attempt to do research for the debate, I endeavored to see one of the paintings Jubal saw as being so banal that it became part one of his primary colours trilogy. As you may know, Jubal Brown has been banned from this gallery. After purchasing my admissions ticket, I innocently asked for directions to this specific painting. The gallery attendant was unaware of the painting to which I was referring. In order to clarify, I nonchalantly said, "Oh, you know, the one Jubal Brown heaved on."

Immediately the attendant was on the phone to her supervisor, asking where was the location of the painting.

The attendant then blurted, "Do you know him!?"

"No, why?" I replied bewilderingly.

She then opened a drawer behind the counter and pulled out a poster of the artist. The caption contained a remark stating that neither he nor his cohorts were to be let into the gallery, and if they attempted to purchase tickets they were to be barred.

So that's how I almost got barred on barf.

Anon.

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