Happy Easter Unless Youre a Chocolate Bunny - Written by Samantha

Okay, so it's Easter weekend, and I'm sitting here in the smallest and most un-uplifting mall on the face of the earth (well, next to Gerrard Square, of course).

The War Against Stupidity - Written by Jester

Tonight I was in my local Subway picking up a Subway Melt with extra tomatoes, when two customers walked in, and I won an important victory in the war against stupidity.

Editorial - Written by capnasty

Welcome to Issue 7 of CoN. This issue is almost in time. It was actually ready before the day it was due, but for some reason it seemed a little bit too early to send.

Squeals on Wheels - Written by Lord Lansdowne

I have the unfortunate habit of automatically looking at someone and classifying them into five categories: cool, decent, useful, annoying but useful and "I'd love to kick the living shit out of you".

Matrix - Written by Jester

At one point in The Matrix, another character turns to Neo, played by Keanu Reeves and says "Change expression, damn you!" while kicking him repeatedly in the testicles.

Men? MEN? I need no stinkin men! - Written by Dee

Often a man will have a misconception that he is the only one who can please a woman. If not economically then definitely sexually. However, the reality is that most women don't even get an orgasm through penetration, but receive pleasure and satisfaction through masturbation.