Ive Been Poisoned - Written by Samantha Craggs

When I was about 14 and determined to be a rock star, I wrote a song called "I've Been Poisoned." It was mostly just heavy drum beats, kind of like Queen's "We Will Rock You.

Ruining Boba Fett - Written by Jester

I am lifetime Star Wars fanatic. I didn't even mind The Phantom Menace, though like any rational human being I wanted Jar Jar Binks to die a horrible, gory and pointless death.

Shite, Shite, Shite!!! Psuedo Reviews - Written by Jeff Wright

Hey-now. This issue's gonna wade through a lot of shit, so if you don't want to wade along with me, go out and rent SWEET AND LOWDOWN.

Homeless - Written by IMPROV

I fucking hate the homeless. I mean it, I hate them... I feel no pity or anything of the like for them, I just flat out hate them.

Editorial - Written by capnasty

I'm starting to wonder if the Christians are determined to pollute and shatter everyone's testicles (especially mine) in every possible way. The latest attack to my persona this time did not come via little Christian comic books scattered on the subway or some prostitute of Jesus stopping me and inviting me to their Church.

Big Green Coffee - Written by Jester

A song parody of "Big Yellow Taxi" by Joni Mitchell They paved paradise and put up a Starbucks With plenty of grinders and a bunch of fake arthouse schmucks