The Ideal Relationship
Break ups are fun. No. I'm lying. They are a pain that is unmistakable and unimaginable unless you are actually experiencing it. The emotional pain of breaking up is unlike any other pain that you can feel.
"I earn more money than you, little boy, that's how," I tell the envious little sprog when he expresses a whining jealousy over the lovely home theatre I've created in my home.
It is perhaps not the most creative thing to do to ride on the putrefying coattails of somebody else?s five-year-old article, but in my state of Gevalia-enhanced Day Three Wall Bouncing Insomniac Binge, the most creative thing I could dredge up from my own melon was how to think up really great booger jokes that Dave Barry has not already told.
Alanis Morassette wrote a song in ?95 that was, in my and most other?s opinion, stupid. The song is entitled Ironic. I had forgotten, or repressed, this song until recently.
I've got a pet peeve so big that it actually prevented me from taking a job one time. It wasn't even a health related thing like working for a distillery or tobacco company either.
The nice guy always has the potential to beat the living snot out of anyone. Beware.
Never EVER leave your wife, fianc?e, friend or girlfriend, walk alone home, after an argument French speaking Chinese cab drivers do exist