Jakob Straub

If you read, you'll judge.
If you write, you'll invent.

Jake is delightfully tacky, yet unrefined. A tiger at heart, he believes there's more to being a tiger than just stripes. He is a monkey of twelve makings wanted for the felony of pushing an elderly lady in front of a passing ambulance as a protest against irony. For him, there is a silent G in gnarled but not in narly. Other inconsistencies fill the gaps in his life.

You should message Jake if all other means to contact him have failed. Si Hablas Alto Nunca Digas Yo.