Dear Sir or Madame,
Due to the volume of mail received, it is necessary to respond by this form letter. I hope this answers your questions and I look forward to hearing from you again.
Accordingly I, Brian Newman say to you:
_____?????Thank you for your kind letter.
_____?????Thank you for your misguided letter. You have the right to be heard and I suppose you should receive some credit for being so outspoken. But not from me.
_____?????Thank you, and the same to you. Your comments have been passed on to the proper authorities and I have asked a certain Federal Agency to keep you under close surveillance.
_____?????The information you asked for cannot be revealed at this time.
_____?????I have brown hair, brown eyes and stand six feet tall. I enjoy stamp collecting, chess and opera. My favourite food is yogurt. Also carrots.
_____?????I'm sorry I called you an Ignoramus. That means a 'dummy'.
_____?????Under certain conditions.
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