If you, like Mack Reed, find yourself with a duffel bag full of high-grade drugs someone decided to hide in your backyard, here is what you do.
I start reaching into the bag to see if theres anything truly dangerous, like heroin or cash or guns and then I realize I should *not* be touching it at all. I have to call the cops.
I cant have this anywhere near my family, and I need professional advice on what to do when the drugs owner returns and finds the stash is gone.
I let the bag drop and immediately call 311. The City Hall non-emergency lines phonebot chirps, Im sorry, but due to the high volume of calls at the moment, there will be a delay in answering your call. Please wait on the line, and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.
God. My mind is racing, and all I can think is fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Where did this COME FROM and WHY NOW?
Im trying to deliver a massive month-long project with my dev team at work. On deadline. Today.
And some evil bastard has stuffed a bag of dope into a hole behind my house and turned my life into the backdrop of a James Ellroy noir. Any minute now, some neckless mook with steroidal shoulders and a bullet-shattered voicebox will stalk up behind and beat me bloody with his pearl-handled Desert Eagle .45.
|Kids Get High Using MP3s|
|"I started to feel Adderall was my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time"|
|How to Be a Drug Dealer|
|Music is a Drug and We're Addicted to It|
|10 Years Ago Portugal Legalized Drugs: Here's What Happened Since|
|“In comparison to the waste produced by every other kind of electricity production, that quantity is close to zero.”|
|The Rise and Fall of Civilisations|
|Fake Name Generator|
|Japanese Robot Serves Ice Cream From Inside a Vending Machine|
|What Computers See When They Watch a Movie|
|CaptchaTweet: Write Tweets in Captcha Form|
|Facebook, Twitter Users Could Face Insurance Hikes|
|The (Very Scary) People of Public Transit|
|David Reeves' Paper Cutouts Inspired by Classic Cult Movies|
|“The only thing worse than assuming that carbon removal will save the day is assuming it will save the day.”|
|“If I’m upset with Facebook, what’s the equivalent product I can go sign up for?”|