My parents are the worst mother Fucking parents in the world fuck you mom and dad for not getting me a Iphone. FUCK YOU. FML.
Typing this tweet on my computer because I didn't get an iPad for Christmas. Fuck you you fucking fuck Santa!
We are a generation of spoiled rotten motherfuckers.
"I was visiting with my family," says Hendren on the impetus behind his critique. "They'd all gone to bed somewhat early on Christmas Eve night, and I was lying awake playing with Twitter's search function on my iPhone (oddly enough). Nobody I was following was tweeting much of anything at that time, so I didn't feel too bad about flooding my timeline. I think I did about 40 or 50 before people started posting fake tweets, which made it harder to find real ones among the search results, so I cut it off probably around Noon on Christmas morning. There are probably even better real ones among all the fake ones out there by now, but it's too hard to tell."
|Action Movie Kid!|
|The Best Kid's Bedroom Ever|
|"Here is Home Depot's tape measure tutorial in all its glory."|
|Distinct things I remember from my childhood|
|Facebook is Amazing Because it Feels Like You're Doing Something Even if You're Really Not Doing Anything|
|“Facebook is a data collection service for those who want to sell you products.” #deleteFacebook|
|“Regular exposure to humans results in white patches in the fur.”|
|“The idea is that someday in the future scientists will scan your bricked brain and turn it into a computer simulation.”|
|Future Horizon's Plasma Lightsabers|
|“The Pentagon’s relatively quiet tip-toe into converting the U.S. Armed Forces to a machine-majority force.”|
|Japanese Robot Serves Ice Cream From Inside a Vending Machine|
|“Facebook played a 'determining role' in stirring up hatred against Rohingya Muslims.”|
|3D Printed $10,000 House|
|“Contains all the same components as cow’s milk, [...] but doesn’t use any animals in its production process.”|
|CaptchaTweet: Write Tweets in Captcha Form|
|“Clearly, no one is going to build weapons that have sufficient general intelligence to, for example, decide and execute a plan to take over the world.”|
|When the Wrong Hastag Can Get You Killed by an Assassination Drone|