You need to read Dustin Rowles hysterical review of Abduction on Pajiba, which he lovingly calls Bourne Identity "for hormonally-damaged teenage girls who have never heard of Bourne Identity."
Think of Abduction this way: There's the Bourne Identity, then way below that is Mark Wahlberg's Shooter. Then there's 50,000 feet of crap. Underneath that is Liam Neeson's Unknown. Dig another 100,000 feet until you hit a liquid-y orange-and-brown ooze and there you will find Abduction, a movie so bad it shouldn't be allowed to call itself a movie. It should be called bad performance art for troglodytic, subhuman Caucasian bed-wetting females with a predisposition for shirtless, roundhouse-kicking dildos. Comparing Bourne Identity to Abduction is like comparing Beyonce's ass to Danny Devito's: Sure, they're both big, but one you want to tap and the other you want to shave and disinfect before you feed to stray dogs.
Put another way: Acne is more pleasant than Abduction.
Read the full article here. Just watch out for the plethora of in-your-face advertising.
|The Entertainment Industry's Dystopia of the Future|
|The Duck World|
|Great Web Design to Explain "Inception"|
|When Cars Kill!|
|Prince of Egypt|
|“Facebook is a data collection service for those who want to sell you products.” #deleteFacebook|
|“Regular exposure to humans results in white patches in the fur.”|
|“The idea is that someday in the future scientists will scan your bricked brain and turn it into a computer simulation.”|
|Future Horizon's Plasma Lightsabers|
|“The Pentagon’s relatively quiet tip-toe into converting the U.S. Armed Forces to a machine-majority force.”|
|Japanese Robot Serves Ice Cream From Inside a Vending Machine|
|“Facebook played a 'determining role' in stirring up hatred against Rohingya Muslims.”|
|CaptchaTweet: Write Tweets in Captcha Form|
|“Clearly, no one is going to build weapons that have sufficient general intelligence to, for example, decide and execute a plan to take over the world.”|
|3D Printed $10,000 House|
|“Contains all the same components as cow’s milk, [...] but doesn’t use any animals in its production process.”|
|Knowing how to operate a smartphone does not qualify as being tech savvy.|