CoN at the Movies

#Film

Tue, Mar 12th, 2002 05:00 by Jeff Wright ARTICLE

This is a re-write. Leo told me that what I originally submitted to him was the worst thing I've ever written. Boo hoo! I'm not changing the stupid headings though. F you Mr. Editor-in-Chief!!!!

MOOZIE ONE:
BOOGIE NIGHTS
I love me my BOOGIE NIGHTS. I've said it before a couple times, maybe even more. I however, don't care. I shall promote it yet again.

Y'all know the story. Boy with big cock becomes an overnight success in the 70's porn biz. This is all ruined of course, by drugs, egos, and bad haircuts.

I fucking love this film! I said that already, didn't I? Go watch BOOGIE NIGHTS.

"Oh how I wish that I had Jesse's girl! Why can't I find a woman like that? Like Jesse's girl."

MOOGY TWO:
MEN WITH BROOMS
Don't watch this movie!!!!!!!!! Have I seen it? No. Should I? No. Should you? No. Unless you're retarded. In which case, I still encourage you not to go see it. You're retarded, and should stay indoors with your un-employed mother.

And while it is a perfectly good reason not to see it? The fact that it's a comedy about curling isn't even close to the top of the list.

MOODY TREE:
FREE ENTERPRISE
Don't watch this movie!!!!!!! Have I seen it? Enough of it. William Shatner does not even come close to saving this wretched piece of s.h. Where's George Takei? He's the man!

DOOGIE WHORE:
BODYGUARD FROM BEJING
Leo and I watched it Saturday night. It was good times. Jet Li plays a bodyguard who has to protect a spoiled girlfriend of a rich guy. There's some pretty cool action in the flic, and really funny supporting characters (Did someone say 'Fat Po'?).

Jet Li's supercool, and Leo said he'd fuck him. :)

So did I though. :(

LOUVIE FIVE:
EVIL DEAD
Because I saw it last night in a theatre, and it's fun.

Later.

  794

 

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