How to Say I Love You in 100 Different Ways -- And Why You Should Not

#Opinion

Mon, Feb 14th, 2011 11:00 by capnasty NEWS

The Morning News's Paul Ford, this week's Non-Expert -- a column that provides non-expert advice on all topics under the sun -- was asked by a reader on how to say I Love You in one-hundred different ways so that he could win a bet with his girlfriend. True to his word, Paul Ford delivered -- but was quick to remind his readers that the best way to say "I Love You" is to not say it at all:

Here's the way to say "I love you": rarely. To say it a hundred ways is to cheapen a pure sentiment; to place a bet with your girlfriend on your ability to do just that is to participate in a culture that has commoditized affection and thrown it into the remainder bin; and to ask someone else to come up with your hundred ways represents love at its nadir -- pure romantic sloth. Why not deep-fry a bag of candy hearts and toss them on the rug for her to eat? That's the (1) first suggestion.

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