At the Movies with CoN

#Film

Fri, May 4th, 2001 04:00 by Jeff Wright ARTICLE

Movie One: IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE

Wong Kar Wai's newest film, starring Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung, is the best film released this year, so far (domestically released in 2000, but in February of this year in North America). It's an absolutely beautiful film about neighbours who find out their spouses are having an affair with each other. They begin to spend time together and eventually fall in love. I really want to do this film justice in my description, but I'm a dummy and have a vocabulary that consists of 495 words. Go see it if it's playing near you. If you're not lucky enough to be in an area where it's playing, it's available on HK DVD and VCD. Both have subtitles, but the DVD is lacking fairly important ones that set the year for you near the end of the film apparently. The VCD has the complete subtitles.

Movie Two: FREDDY GOT FINGERED

Get thee to a nunnery, or to the nearest Cineplex playing this film. Your choice. Watch the film (not something else that's playing at the same Cineplex, ya semantic fucks) or know that I think you're an idiot. RIP TORN RULES!!!!!!!! Among a great many other things.

This is revolutionary filmmaking. I've got five words for ya to think about when watching FREDDY GOT FINGERED.

And the Oscar goes to.

Movie Three: MISSION TO MARS

Save your money. Not that anyone else is dumb enough to rent this piece of shit, but just in case you take a stupid pill instead of an Aspirin one day. Know that it's a very bad, bad movie. The same way Adolf Hitler was a very bad, bad man.

Movie Four: MEMENTO

This thing pissed me off. I didn't care about the characters, it moved too slowly and every frame of re-used footage insulted my intelligence. Not a very good film. No need to get into it though. From what I gather most fans of the film are rabidly so. I don't want any of them mad at me. I'm weak.

Movie Five: THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY

I just got this on LD the other day. I'm only half way through part 3 of 8, but I'm really liking this documentary/mini-series. The bit about the gay looking French boys was pretty amusing.

MOVIE STUFF ENDS HERE

The following has nothing to do with movies, but it pissed me off enough that I wanted to write about it.

Walking home from work last Friday, my faith in humanity dwindled to a new low. As I was walking along the street, I noticed a group of say 10 people on the corner closest to me looking across to the next corner. There was a group of maybe 30 people, the one in the centre being a police officer. It always annoys me how interested people are in other people's business and how freely they'll stick their noses in it. This was the worst case I've ever seen of the phenomenon, though.

As I walk by the centre of attention I see that by the cop is a little girl, who's no more than 10 years old, with her dog. Something like a Doberman.

The little girl was crying and screamed out, "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY BABY!!!" It just about broke my feeble Grinch sized (pre-Cindy Lou Who) heart. So obviously the dog bit someone, and it needed to be taken away, but the little girl was shattered. Once I had passed the mob, I got really mad at the douche bags huddled around the little girl. If it hadn't been for the fact that my yelling would have probably added to the little girl's hysteria, I had a good mind to turn around and curse out each and every one of those motherfuckers.

Its called common decency. Clearly, a good number of the people who live on this planet don't have it or can't grasp the concept; acting as though it were abstract. Fuck them!

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