Possible Microsoft Releases

#Culture

Tue, Mar 25th, 1997 02:00 by capnasty ARTICLE

Microsoft Hellblender: trapped on a different dimension,you find yourself fighting evil appliances, under the control of The Blender. The Blender has gained self awareness, and unless you can find a way to annihilate it, it will churn you to bits. The game requires a certain degree of strategy in avoiding the forks and knifes that fly in your general direction, and diplomacy in convincing your washing machine she is not going to be sold ata garage sale. One wrong move, and all the underwear taken hostage could shrink.

Microsoft Quake: it would run on the same engine as Monster Truck Madness, however although you see all these amazing weapons, you can't pick'em up. Worse then that, you can't shoot. In death match you can push people off bridges or against cactus, but for some odd reason they never die. There is a hidden soccer field. (capnasty)

Microsoft Cab Simulator: "Where do you want to go today?"With the New York package ("where da fuck ya wanna go today?")with the Statue of Liberty and a perfect reproduction of Manhattan.The Paris add-on ("voules vous arrive` a jour di?") also includes a French-man playing the harmonica sitting beside you, cars parked allover unusual places, and traffic like you've never seen before as you try to squirm through streets made in the 17th century with a 1.1 liter.Models include a Peugeout 504, Citroen Deux Chaveaux and a Renault 4.(Marco T. & Jason M.)

Microsoft is pleased to announce the acquisition of England(tm),a leading country. England will bring many competitive advantages to Microsoft including the world's leading language, some prime real estate, and a strong military.

Microsoft has announced plans to continue offering England's products in America and abroad, with some minor changes to the license terms.

These changes include:

1 English(tm) will no longer be made available on a Public Domain basis. All users of English(tm) must register with Microsoft. A trial version of English(tm) will be made available with a limited vocabulary.

2 Crumpets will be promoted as a new industry standard for lunch. all Microsoft products will fully support Crumpets At Work (CAW).

3 Other changes will be announced in the near future.(http://www.microsnot.com)

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