Reasons Why TV Sucks, and Movie Recommendations


Mon, Feb 19th, 2001 03:00 by Jeff Wright ARTICLE

Here's why TV sucks:

1) Adebisi is dead.

2) `The Larry Sanders Show' isn't on anymore.

3) Michael Moriarity episodes of `Law & Order'.

4) `Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?' isn't a weekly program.

5) All of the shitty shows my family watch.

6) `The Critic' isn't on anymore.

7) `Freakazoid' isn't on anymore.

8) HBO isn't available in Canada.

9) Where the fuck is Tom Snyder?

Here are some movies you should watch:

1) DEAD MAN, dir. Jim Jarmusch (rental)

2) THE GIFT, dir. Sam Raimi (theatrical)

3) SNATCH, dir. Guy Ritchie (theatrical)

4) SMALL TIME CROOKS, dir. Woody Allen (rental)

5) PRINCESS MONONOKE, dir. Hayao Miyazaki (rental)

6) STARDUST MEMORIES, dir. Woody Allen (rental)

7) DOUBLE TAKE, dir. George Gallo (just kidding, and yes I did have to look up who directed it)



You may also be interested in:

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
At the Movies with CoN
17 Minute Movie That Plays Out Entirely on a Teenager's Computer Screen
Shite, Shite, Shite!!! Psuedo Reviews