The Least Powerful People in Hollywood


Wed, Nov 17th, 1999 02:00 by IMPROV ARTICLE

In light of Entertainment Weekly's recent "Power List" that outlined the 100 most powerful figures in Hollywood, I thought I'd reveal the underbelly of entertainment industry. So here are IMPROV'S 17 LEAST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD:

17. Alan Thicke - the former Dr. Jason Seaver just has no one to listen to him anymore...except that kid who played his son, Ben. And let's not forget "Thicke of the Night" a talk show that was reportedly so awful that upon seeing a taping of the first episode, Thicke fainted dead away.

16. Eddie Rabbit - no one really cares that he "Loves a Rainy Night."

15. Danny Pintaro (Jonathan from Who's the Boss) - his coming out of the closet was not only truly shocking, but detrimental to his career.

14. Rodney Dangerfield - not only does he get no respect, but no one listens either.

13. William Shatner's Barber - cause he doesn't exist... Get it?! Cause he's BALD. HA!!

12. Tony the Tiger - his cereal may be Greeaaat! But he's constantly hindered for his refusal to accept that he's just a cartoon.

11. Nell Carter - cause she's fat.

10. Anybody who has ever appeared on Full House - self-explanatory.

9. Russian Prime Minister Boris Yeltsin - he's not actually in Hollywood but he has no power anywhere.

8. Rick Springfield - Jessie's Girl may be one of the greatest songs ever written, but still.

7. The guy who played the father on Silver Spoons - the fact that even a t.v. geek like me can't remember the guy's name pretty much secures his spot on this list.

6. Steve Guttenberg - Police Academy? Yes... Police Academy 3? No... And let's not forget Guttenberg's other fine movies! "Zeus and Roxanne", "Can't Stop the Music" and "The Man Who Wasn't There" (in 3D!)

5. Any Amish in Hollywood - because they don't believe in power of any kind.

4. Yahoo Serious/Paul Hogan/that `oi guy' - unless 'Yahoo' cashed in on the web site and shared with his fellow countrymen.

3. Seiko - she sang with Donnie Walberg

2. Dom Deluise - no power for Dom... `nless you count buying power at the A&P.

1. The lead rapper of Snap - lawsuits are still pending, turns out he really didn't have "The Power."



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