Men? MEN? I need no stinkin' men!

#Relationships

Thu, Apr 1st, 1999 05:00 by Dee ARTICLE

Often a man will have a misconception that he is the only one who can please a woman. If not economically then definitely sexually. However, the reality is that most women don't even get an orgasm through penetration, but receive pleasure and satisfaction through masturbation. If a woman is a lesbian, a man will try to convince her that all she needs is a good fuck, but for most lesbians a penis just doesn't do it. Many men have a sense of fear when women no longer need them.

Two days before Valentine's Day my cousin Pat and I decided to rent a scarry movie from Blockbuster. On our way there, some guy decides to start talking to us. My cousin and I, used to the general population that litters the area, just ignored and kept on walking. The guy momentarily backed off.

A few minutes later he reappeared again. "So, ladies, how are ya doin'?".

I looked up and I was greeted by this old, ugly Somalian guy that was trying to look young and hip. You know the type: baseball hat on the side, pants down to their knees (to quickly jump out of them?) and one of their pant's legs raised up. No, I am not being discriminate when I say "Somalian". If anyone has read IMPROV's story about Gays, they'll understand what I am trying to say.

"Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?" he asked again.

My cousin looked at me and laughed "We don't celebrate Valentine's day".

The man looked at me and with a sly grin whispered "Maybe you'd like to celebrate Valentine day with me, we could have a threesome".

"Sorry darling" I said "but you are not my type".

"Honey!" he looked at me "Honey! What IS your type then?"I looked at my cousin, held her hand and said "My type? Why she's my type, HONEY."

"What?!" he stuttered "You girls are gay?"

"Yeah. That's right. I'm a fucken' lez", I said.

The guy's face turned pale and gave Pat and I the most disgusted look he could manage.

"What's wrong HONEY, you can't believe that a woman prefers a pussy over your ugly dick?" I asked.

The man laughed. A nervous laugh. "I don't believe that you girls are gay! You're Indian! Indian girls are not gay!"

Pissed off I said "Watch this, hetero-boy" and I grabbed my cousin and kissed her on the lips. My cousin, playing in the game, participated with much enthusiasm.

To say that our friend was shocked, it's to say the least. He backed up a few feet as if we were infected with some disease."You girls are disgusting! God doesn't like shit like this!"Yeah, but he likes threesomes, right?Pat and I just laughed and walked away.

Most men have this fucken' ego that women need then for pleasure, but as time passes, women no longer depend on them for anything, not even sex. Beside men being unreliable for even putting a nail against a wall, technology has provided us with enough fake dicks and vibrators to replace the Viagra-enduced erections they so happily display.

Hopefully, with time, the world will begin to shift from a male-dominated to a women's world, where things will finally run properly without any testosterone driven bullshit.

  2513

 

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