School

#Education

Mon, Oct 19th, 1998 05:00 by Jeff Wright ARTICLE

15 years. Is that really a long time? Why yes I do believe it is. What could you do that would require 15 years to complete? I really couldn't tell you. But "THE MAN" (hehehe) seems to think that 15 years is the minimum you should spend in school, getting your education (This is for Ontario. We've got OAC/Grade 13.).

If you've completed your public schooling, like myself, you will no doubt know that it was a giant waste of time. Now I'm not saying that education is bad. Actually I think it's a terrific thing. Once I upgrade my OAC marks (Yeah, I've technically graduated, but I can't quite get free) I plan on going to university. There I can learn about things I want to. Things that are going to be useful in my life. Think of how many pointless nuggets of information you have on that brain of yours thanks to public schooling. That 15 year education that was supposed to be crucial to the way you live.

If you want a job at McDonald's (hehehe), you don't need a high school education. If you want a job at the space program, you do need a high school education. Now I see your confusion, let me get to my point. You obviously don't need to know all of the stuff you were taught in high school to flip burgers at The Golden Arches. Then why do you need all of that knowledge to join the space program? You don't need to know about Shakespeare to orbit the moon, do you? Shakespeare is about as useful to an astronaut as it is to that old woman working at McDonald's at the age of 68 because she doesn't have a pension (and deep down secretly, she loves the attention that comes with being named "Employee Of The Month"). Why do we have to go through this shit to get on with the important part of our lives? Why can't we start our specialized, university education without good marks in high school? High school is holding me back. I know I can do damn well at what I want to do, but I can't further educate myself in a formal manner because my high school grades aren't the greatest. Why the FUCK is that?!?!?!

A NOTE FROM ME:

I think this piece was supposed to be funny, and make fun of school, but I had to get that off my chest. I hope it's not held against me. To make up for the serious turn, I'll provide you with a joke. And on top of that, I'll even make it up. The following is a brand, spanking new joke (I'm going to think now, you won't notice the lapse in time, so that's why this sentence is here. It's just so you appreciate it better).

Okay, here's the joke:

Some guy comes up to me on the street and asks me if I'd mind taking a couple minutes to answer a survey. Myself, being the friendly bloke that I am, say sure, sit down and prepare to answer.-What did you have for breakfast today?-A couple Eggo's with syrup. -What colour is the underwear you're wearing?-White. -Do you have a television?-Yes. -Can you name all of the American presidents?-Nope. -What's your favourite music group?-Um. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. -Do you drink coffee in the morning?-Nope. -How many siblings do you have?-One. Can I ask you what this is for? None of these questions have anything in common. They seem like random, meaningless questions. What's this for? -School.

Well whada ya know. I even got to make it relate to the article, even though it was just a part of the article in the form of a joke. Oh well. I'll let this piece stay as it is, since I go on these little rants and if I took them out, I'd lose a lot of text.

See ya, and thanks for reading, Jeff Wright

  781

 

You may also be interested in:

Condoms
“By 2030, DeepMind's ability to master 'Breakout' could seem as quaint as dial-up modems.”
Lazy First-Year Students Blasted
Great College Pranks
They Named Her The Pure