Turkey Toss

#Hate

Mon, Oct 19th, 1998 03:00 by IMPROV ARTICLE

When our exhualted leader approached me about contributing an article related to the wonderful world of school my initial reaction was to write a paper with really bad spelling, even worse than normal grammar, and just rip apart my high school English teachers. You see I hated English, which is odd for someone who is neither scientifically endowed nor mathematically inclined. I failed Grade twelve English twice, but now... for some strange reason in UNIVERSITY it's my strong point, and by far my favourite course. Hmmm... strange... could it be that I didn't do so well in high school because I called the head of the English department a "fat useless bitch"? Could it be that teachers are, indeed, humans and hold grudges? But that is for another time and another rant...by the way for those of you who read my articles normally, Werden... is a perfect example of a WASTE OF FLESH!!! (a huge waste).

But enough of that, I have something a little different to talk about. School encompasses many different things, but perhaps the most important aspect of school, to the students, is the social aspect. Well if not most students at least mine. So this is my first year in university, as well as my girlfriend's. I'm going part time and she full time... just to give you a little background. During FROSH week I was in New York City... so I missed all the "fun" get to know you, get drunk, get laid, good clean fun of these festivities. No big deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year, I trust her... even if she hasn't been a big drinker... even if she's never been out to a bar with friends...even if she thinks the best of everyone...ANYHOW, I really do trust her, it's the drunken asses of the University of Toronto that I do not... but I'm in NYC, what can I do? No matter, nothing drastic happened in the manner of guys being too forward, with the exception of the rockin' fourth year guy who invites my girlfriend back to the frat house... but reassured her to, "not worry, we can't go after frosh until midnight." And as far as I know she didn't go... theinvestigation is still pending... I'm kidding dear... hehehe... ummm

But believe it or not, I'm still not to the point I wanted to make. Since starting university, my better half has been introduced to the term "Turkey Toss". For those of you who are ignorant to the term, such as I was, this refers to the phenomenon of breaking up with your boy/girlfriend before Thanksgiving when starting higher education. There are other gentlemen in her life who claim to have pools on such events... the guys at her work, I think they are banking on it... what's with this all about... I'm paranoid enough as it is... I don't need assholes spurning on my beliefs!You know you think that guys would back each other up... but no freakin' way, it's like a savannah out there... I've gotta butt heads with every other guy out there just to keep them away. Well I'm glad to say that as I write this it's Thanksgiving weekend, and thus far all is well... that's all I'm going to say... I don't want to jinx it!

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