Hate me

#Hate

Thu, Aug 6th, 1998 05:00 by IMPROV ARTICLE

I'm not sure what it is, but my writing of late has lacked an edge... So when I learnt that CoN's next issue was hate oriented (although I can't think of one that hasn't been yet), I was quite excited... I'm going to attempt to get many people to HATE me!! Do you know that I haven't received one rebuttal letter in months!! I'm very disappointed in myself... I mean, Christ, I even wrote a poem... A POEM!! Not a cheesy love poem... but free verse never the less, and still a poem.

Could it be...that it's because I'm in love?
Could it be...that I'm just not a cynical bastard anymore?
Could it be...that everyone is desensitised to my sharp wit?
Could it be...that I'm not creative enough to piss anyone off?

Maybe I should just try to piss people off...but you see, that's the problem if I go off saying stuff like: I think abortions should be paid for by the Government, OR The Catholic Church is the world's largest and most accepted cult, whose members are stuck up useless middle class inbred mother fuckers, OR I was molested as a child and it made me a better rapist, OR (for all you computer geeks out there) AOL is really good, OR The X-Files is the worst television show ever produced, in fact I'd rather watch the 12 hour Full House-a-thon.

If I try to be difficult, is it contrived? If I intend to offend, am I turning into a Howard Stern? A Howard Stern being defined as: someone who every now and then has an interesting point, but when he doesn't he reverts to dick and fart jokes... appealing to the lowest common denominator... Bathroom humour... what a fucking waste... I'm not talking about unnecessary swearing (which I'm guilty of), what I'm talking about is raising a point about a pertinent subject, but when that idea is exhausted, and there is nothing left to say... you let one rip. Whatta dick.

I will now share with you my favourite insult...This term is the term I use to describe jack asses that are easily hateable, like Howard Stern and my ex girlfriend's best-friend. The term is WASTE OF FLESH. People whom I loathe are Wastes of Flesh. That meaning, that if you take the flesh that the good Lord above used to create a Howard Stern, you could probably make two good dwarfs... Dwarfs that could go on to entertain thousands daily in the Ringling Bros. Circus as the Amazing Pintaki Twins who swallow each other!!! (or something insignificant like find the cure for some deadly disease... ah who am I kidding, they could never reach the test tubes)... Or you could take the Waste of Flesh's flesh and feed some African cannibal family two or three good meals!!! (or some Arkansas family).

Thanks,
IMPROV

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