Let's be honest, work sucks. More so when the job is ungrateful, the people you serve are snarly and bitter and the only reason you haven't quit is because the cheque helps you pay the bills and keep a roof over your head.
The worse part of work is that there is no such thing as a reward. If you do a good job and you finish quickly, you're simply assigned more work. If you don't, you get scolded, told you're not part of the team, you lack synergy and that you need to crank up on your paradyme. So why bother?
So here are a few tips in order to give your grassroots solutions that healthy looking grow you get only when you dump hefty amounts of manure on it.
E-mail on the other end can be used to spend tons of company time to reply to the much drivel that is sent to your inbox by other workers. Read all of it. And reply to all of it, too. Make sure you use Outlook so you can get viruses, which will crash your workstation allowing you to complain you can't get any work done!
To get around this tiny problem of getting caught (before making our own falsified hall passes which looked more official than the official ones) I would just walk slowly and methodically with a few sheets of tabulated paper through the school, greeting in a friendly manner all the hall monitors that I would encounter. Nobody ever stopped me to question what I was doing.
When you're planning in going out of the office to get another coffee or just because you want to go shopping or to the bank, leave the office with an important looking envelope or several files under your arm. Walk quickly and seriously, greeting people with a quick "Hey."
If you pretend do be doing something even when you're not supposed to, people will automatically assume you should and will not question you.
Your "TO DO" box should be filled, but your "DONE" box should be overflowing with files (never mind that they're empty).
Maintain this look of "I have pulled an all-nighter and you just arrive now, don't you dare give me any shit."
If you happen to be late, nobody will say a thing.
So there you have it. These few simple tips will keep you from being picked from the boss and getting labelled as the lazy one that doesn't want to tackle a challenge. You'll look like someone that really cares and (if you are like me) they'll be glad they managed to hire you for real cheap just because you were desperate enough to take the job.
|“Do you want to be like the CIA and overthrow a government overseas for profit or fun?”|
|Make Your Own Bloktagons|
|How To Name Your First Novel|
|How to Turn an Unassuming Mild-Mannered Garden Gnome into a Tiny Butt-Kicking Purveyor of Justice|
|How to Prepare for the Apocalypse|
|“Systemd is, to put it mildly, controversial.”|
|“The Reality of Building Fantasy.”|
|U.S.S. Enterprise Owner's Manual|
|iPhone 6, the First Smartphone to Disrupt NSA's Spying|
|CaptchaTweet: Write Tweets in Captcha Form|
|The (Very Scary) People of Public Transit|
|“The Amazon Dash button for horny men and women who don’t feel comfortable telling their partner they’d like to have sex.”|
|“If you’re dating, you’re going to be let down. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.”|
|How to Avoid Jury Duty|
|Testing Whether the Earth is Round or Flat|
|“A sophisticated global marketing strategy from an industry that is desperate to attract new smokers.”|
|Recycled Vacuum Lamps|