You know Upworthy, they're responsible for those clickbait headlines everyone (and their mother) share on Facebook about a million times. If you've had enough, the browser plugin Downworthy automagically rewords them for what they actually mean.
Downworthy replaces hyperbolic headlines from bombastic viral websites with a slightly more realistic version. For example:
- "Literally" becomes "Figuratively"
- "Will Blow Your Mind" becomes "Might Perhaps Mildly Entertain You For a Moment"
- "One Weird Trick" becomes "One Piece of Completely Anecdotal Horseshit"
- "Go Viral" becomes "Be Overused So Much That You'll Silently Pray for the Sweet Release of Death to Make it Stop"
- "Can't Even Handle" becomes "Can Totally Handle Without Any Significant Issue"
- "Incredible" becomes "Painfully Ordinary"
- "You Won't Believe" becomes "In All Likelihood, You'll Believe"
- ... and so on. (see the spoilers list below)
These articles are, in general, not nearly as bad as their titles - but the titles have become SO overblown, they're meaningless and annoying. But people still click, so the trend continues. Consider this me doing my part to stop the insanity.
|Bitly for Feelings: Shortened Links That Also Express What You Think|
|Jogger injured after using Twitter as he ran|
|Don't Trust Facebook with Your Data: An Employee's Revelations|
|Quebecor Opens Door to Canadian Three Strikes Policy|
|The NSA Prism Whisteblower: Everything You Need to Know|
|“Self-driving trucks will begin hauling mail between USPS facilities.”|
|“For the first time in the history of life, we can affect the future of our evolution.”|
|“A two-legged robot created by Agility Robotics, designed to get your delivery from a car to your door.”|
|The (Very Scary) People of Public Transit|
|CaptchaTweet: Write Tweets in Captcha Form|
|Recycled Vacuum Lamps|
|U.S.S. Enterprise Owner's Manual|
|“A deep fake sex video emerges in a Google search of your name.”|
|Naked Preacher Lady [NSFW]|
|“A driverless electric truck began daily freight deliveries on a public road.”|
|“The company is losing billions, has essentially no underlying value, and its business could be hammered overnight.”|
|“A new residential building under construction will feature a flying car skyport on the roof.”|