You know Upworthy, they're responsible for those clickbait headlines everyone (and their mother) share on Facebook about a million times. If you've had enough, the browser plugin Downworthy automagically rewords them for what they actually mean.
Downworthy replaces hyperbolic headlines from bombastic viral websites with a slightly more realistic version. For example:
- "Literally" becomes "Figuratively"
- "Will Blow Your Mind" becomes "Might Perhaps Mildly Entertain You For a Moment"
- "One Weird Trick" becomes "One Piece of Completely Anecdotal Horseshit"
- "Go Viral" becomes "Be Overused So Much That You'll Silently Pray for the Sweet Release of Death to Make it Stop"
- "Can't Even Handle" becomes "Can Totally Handle Without Any Significant Issue"
- "Incredible" becomes "Painfully Ordinary"
- "You Won't Believe" becomes "In All Likelihood, You'll Believe"
- ... and so on. (see the spoilers list below)
These articles are, in general, not nearly as bad as their titles - but the titles have become SO overblown, they're meaningless and annoying. But people still click, so the trend continues. Consider this me doing my part to stop the insanity.
|“We often launch products not for the revenue but for the data.”|
|"It's Not About Winning, It's About Getting Into the Zone": Facebook is Like Gambling|
|ISPs react, sort of support network neutrality--with caveats|
|“Democracy is dying in the full light of day. Who will step in and lead when it matters?”|
|"We're back in the dot-com funny money era."|
|“Lifting the electric motors out of Teslas and putting them in the chassis of other, formerly gas guzzling cars.”|
|How to Avoid Jury Duty|
|“What can we do to make responsible use of plastic a reality? First: reject the lie.”|
|Japanese Robot Serves Ice Cream From Inside a Vending Machine|
|Go the Fuck to Sleep: A Children's Bedtime Book|
|On Instagram, Everyone Takes the Exact Same Photos|
|“The cost could be so near to zero it will effectively be free.”|
|“Sending you changes in your media feed that are calculated to adjust you slightly to the liking of some unseen advertiser.”|
|“Rejuvenation is Finally an Industry.”|
|CaptchaTweet: Write Tweets in Captcha Form|
|Google Map Shows You the Most Photographed Areas of the World|
|“Put words between buns.”|