Why Guys Don't Call...

Waiting for that phone call that never rings.

#Relationships

Mon, Aug 24th, 1998 02:00 by Dee S. ARTICLE

Why men don't call? This question is asked by thousand of women as they stand patiently by the phone waiting from a call from their respective partners.

From my personal perspective I believe it's an issue of commitment. Once they have passed the first stage of being all lovey-dovey with us, they see no more need of picking up the phone and calling us like they used to. Long gone are the days of hours long phone calls through the night!

I had this problem with my boyfriend. The asshole never fucken' called me. I was the one that always had to do the calling. Okay, so maybe I called him a little too much in the beginning, but hey! At least I called and showed him he was on my mind.

After a year and half ladies, I figured it out. Stop calling them. Suddenly the phone started ringing more often, and guess who was on the other side of the line? You see, men live in a perpetual stage of guilt when they are not around us. They look at other women, they flirt, but back in their mind they think of us. So when the phone stops ringing, they begin to wonder why.

At first they will eye the phone suspiciously ("she should've called by now"). Then they start to wonder why she hasn't called for the past few days. They will finally give in all driven by a sense of guilt and suspiciousness that we are not interested in them anymore.

Presently I don't call my man everyday, but just once in a blue moon. However he now calls me much more than before.

Call it "reverse psychology" if you want, but it's shockingly simple once you have it figured out: pretend your interest in them has decreased by calling them less. Automatically, they will call you more.

Although I've heard many different views on the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus", I think it shred some light on this problem. Take for example when men ask for more space. A woman will automatically cling on them more thinking that he doesn't love her anymore.

At first I didn't understand why my guy needed space. I mean, we love each other right? We should be together all the time! But then it clicked in. It's like calling too much. He has it up to here to hear the phone all the time with me on the other end, and so he avoided me completely.

At one time I remember calling my boyfriend at least 4 to 6 times a day [eight actually - Ed.]. I called because I wanted to wish him a good morning, I called because I wanted to wish him a good night, I called just because I wanted to hear his voice. It might sound corny, but it's a sign of love and a women's thing, eh!

As a result he would say nothing on the phone, or answer my questions with "I told you this already in phone calls 1 through 4". He would try to keep the phone calls as short as possible and to me, it seemed that his love for me had died.

So keep your men on his toes. Make him desire you and he will be crawling at your feet. Bond with his female friends, and soon enough he will realize he has no choice but to pick up that phone and dial. And with that, save your heartache as well.

[Related articles: "Are We Just Nuts?" (9.4), "Why they don't call" (10.1)]

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