This past weekend was fantastic. I spent most of the weekend in bed with an old flame. Instead of going to the bar on Friday with friends, I turned on my old love and stayed in bed the whole night. I didn't get out of bed until 1:30pm on Saturday. After I got out of bed, grabbed a quick bite and did stuff around the house, then settled on the couch with my love. I went to bed a few hours later stayed there all night with my love.
I can't believe I left you all that time ago! I can't believe I thought I was too good for you! All those nights I could have stayed home and had a quiet night alone with you I was out having fun with friends, pursuing hobbies, and looking for love in all the wrong places!
And there you were, at home, always waiting patiently for me to come back to you, my wonderful, patient, TV.
Once upon a time TV and I spent a lot of time together. Then I went to university and was always doing homework, or partying, or out with friends. I thought TV just wasn't good enough for me. I thought "I need to get out and get a REAL life". I blamed you for making me fat.
So I ignored you. I went out as often as possible. Claimed I hated you. I found other interests. I started dancing, working out, writing, cooking, and going to the movies, parties, clubs, bars, concerts, theatre and so on. I watched you change over the years. After all you were so full of you're "Reality-TV" and you had changed from the once-funny, sitcom-full TV I loved and adored. I could only find those wonderful remains of you in obscure places like PRIME, FoodTV. Only there could I find great shows like The Cosby show, Saved By the Bell, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and well, everything on FoodTV is still great. But things change, and relationships change. We had grown apart. You wanted to focus on "Reality-TV", and I wanted to focus on "Reality".
But now that we've spent so much time together this past weekend I can still see the remnants of the old TV I loved. You still have such greats as Sex and the City, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (the hair guy on that show that always has some great hair product is absolutely adorable), Gilmore Girls, and the irreplaceable Simpsons. But alas, you'll soon be ditching Sex and the City, Friends, Boston Public and other greats. I have to wait and see what will replace these gems before I can truly commit to you once again.
But can you every really change back to the quality TV I remember? I just can't believe it. Society doesn't want you to go back to the way you were before, and the more you change the less I can live with you.
I guess we'll always have the memories. And every so often I'll still stay home in bed with you when you've got something on that I just can't resist. Maybe that makes me a TV slut, but that's the most commitment I can make to you right now. Maybe I've changed and become a snob and think I'm too good for you. But I really think that you've just changed too much for me to live with. But judging by the number of affairs you've had with "Reality-TV" junkies who just can't get enough of you, I'm sure you'll get over it.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
|Stop Being a Fucking Pussy|
|Donald Appleyard's Livable Streets|
|"It can be unsettling to contemplate the unlikely nature of your own existence."|
|"Every night at dinner my wife and I each ask what the other learned that day."|
|Andrew Hyde: The Man Who Only Owns 15 Things|
|Women vs. “Roosh V.”|
|Charge Your Phone With Your Poo|
|"The hunt for life on other planets is now ramping up in a serious way."|
|A Brief History of Japan|
|What Nothing Really Means in Seinfeld|
|"Nobody wants small."|
|Realistic Looking Barbie|
|DeLorean Announces Limited Production of DeLorean Replicas|
|"Eagles are coached to identify and capture drones."|
|Learn All About Red Dwarfs in Under 6 Minutes|
|The Solar System, to Scale, in the Nevada Desert|
|Climbing the Great Pyramid of Giza|
|Building a Basic Drill Out of Wood and Stone|
|How "The Force Awakens" Special Effects Were Made|