Beaten with the Measuring Stick

Written by Lost Correspondent

Chances are, you think you're a more intellectually and emotionally evolved person. You come to Capital of Nasty, you read the astute writings of those who conglomerate here, think about it, agree with it or outright dismiss it as a waste of ones and zeroes that add up to nothing at all.

Chances are, you have some kind of education. Those that have framed papers illustrating their wealth of knowledge on certain subjects have imparted that wisdom down to you. You probably read books that are both fictional and not, you consume art and make it your own. You likely sit around over a chai latte or a pint or two of beer with friends and discuss politics, world events and the usefulness of works like Fahrenheit-911 or The Da Vinci Code.

You tell the stories of your life that have pushed you a step ahead of those who trudge down the street with papers tucked safely under an arm. Their main worries being that their stocks haven?t dipped too low or the cashier at the local grocery store who dreams that she?ll have enough funds left over when all the bills are paid to be able to buy a new skirt for the summer season.

You claim not to care about how many digits your income amounts to when it?s time to do your taxes. You don?t gloat about how much horsepower rests under the
hood of your car because that?s the kind of thing that shallow people worry about.

You don?t shop at places that use underpaid, exploitive labour in foreign lands. You?ve got definite ideas on the problems with the way your country is being run and you?ve got views on the war, whichever war it is.

You went through a lot of hardships growing up and in finding your own identity. You don?t agree with the way some other people live their lives. You probably don?t eat fast food chicken because you know they?re pumped full of hormones to make them meaty.

You?re an intelligent person, you?re right and screw everyone else who disagrees.

You?ve probably had those philosophical debates with someone who was so arrogant in their beliefs that you wanted to mentally beat them down and prove how idiotic their thought processes actually are.

You probably don?t care if your penis is average, large or small compared to the male populace. You refuse to fall into the trap of worrying about what your body will look like when you have to slip into that bathing suit for the summer getaway. It doesn?t matter if all the women think that blonde guy is hot because he looks like he shops at The Gap, likely sucked in from their musical, brainwashing for the weak-minded commercials.

The young girl with the boobs that seem to need a specially made shirt to contain them? In time, hers will droop too, and besides, she looks like she couldn?t count to twenty without using both fingers and toes.

You don?t care about the neighbour with the new, shiny SUV because he?s probably making up for lack of size elsewhere in his life. The happy couple you work with, who just bought a new house in the suburbs and have a second child on the way? There are more important things in life than having a family and working yourself to the grave.

You think you don?t measure yourself up to the physical appearance, monetary or social status of others because that just results in you getting caught up in the rat race which is really just a huge maze full of twists, turns and dead-ends and a finish line where you have to leave everything you gathered on the way behind.

The brain is a little different, you tell yourself.

Yet it too is just another organ and facet of ourselves to be measured up against others to set us apart. Some people want a huge member to wow our sexual partners, some will want big muscles, long eyelashes, tattoos, big boobs, a fancy business card or successful children. Others pride themselves on their brainpower but like my dick, it?s not the size of it that matters, it?s how I use it.

We?re constantly fighting to prove ourselves from grades in school to the great catch of our mates and the size of our paycheques to our IQ scores. You can?t get away from the measuring stick and eventually, it will beat you down.