(Smitty-boy?s afterthoughts included at no extra charge, super size for $0.39 more)
I was pondering the meaning of life one day (don?t ask) and suddenly it hit me (have you ever been hit by a truck? It wasn?t anything like that). It was so obvious that I couldn?t believe I didn?t realize it before. The answer was so simple, now I just need to remember what it was... oh yea!
The other day I was talking to a friend and I was trying to come up with an idea for a story. Well, I didn?t come up with anything. I needed somewhere to start so I asked her for a few character names; she gave me one (hers). It was better than nothing, so I began writing down all the things that came to my mind (several hundred dots followed by the letter k and then a rant about cheerios). Unfortunately, it hardly passed for a story (even by my standards, which up ?til then I thought to be non-existent). The so-called story seemed to revolve around one character named Clyde who I think was a llama (just as easily could have been a cow). Anyways, the story in no way included Kat.
All of you who have read my stories must have some idea how bad it had to have been if I didn?t even think it was good.
So began a week of nothingness. I tried; I did (not really). Several failed attempts left me with stories about Super Nun and her sidekick Pope-boy (three AND a theme song written by Caitlin Lortie), Clyde the llama (or was he a cow?), and one still puzzles me because I don?t exactly know where I was going with it (I might have taken a little too much Nyquil that day). All were tragic deleted in the horrible ?Delete? button incident of 2003.
For nearly 3 weeks I had not written anything worthy of the disk (its where I save all my stories). Perhaps I was trying too hard (now that I think about it, Super Nun wasn?t THAT bad... look for her in future editions of Story Time). But, I still had to write a story about the amazing adventures of Kat.
I thought hard for a day (5 minutes-ish), and my thoughts turned from bad story line after bad story line to... Hot Pockets. Hot Pockets are the greatest thing since individually wrapped cheese slices; and if I ever had to be trapped in some place with nothing to eat but one type of food, it would be Hot Pockets.
I joked to myself (because I?m just that lame) that the meaning of life WAS to live, die and eat Hot Pockets; but it makes sense though (not really). Every person should have Hot Pockets (still not making sense); in fact it should be in it?s own food group. No! It deserves it?s own food pyramid. Think about it, all have bread, some have vegetables, meat, and dairy. If you have the right Hot Pockets and drink juice, you cover every food group. If God creates all, God created Hot Pockets. I?m not about to argue with God (He always wins anyway).
The food pyramid is an essential, but so is life and death. All 3 must be covered, and Hot Pockets cover the food. Thus, the meaning of life is to live, die, and eat Hot Pockets.
Just think that if I hadn?t tried to write a story about Kat people would still be trying to figure out the meaning of life, ha. But then again, what if she had given me a different name... like one that rhymed with banana... I might have written an actual story about that (and we certainly wouldn?t want an actual story, I mean, c?mon).