Kill Bill: Volume One

Written by Jeff Wright

Hey, kids!

Leo asked me to write a review of Kill Bill: Volume One, and thankfully for you, it?s one of the few flics I?ve seen lately. Because if he had asked me to write a review for Elephant, or The Matrix Revolutions, or something else that I hadn?t seen? You see where that would have posed a problem. But I have seen the first part of Kill Bill, so I can write a review.

I take back my ?thankfully for you? comment. I?m starting to think that you?d be better off without this review, but whatever. I?m writing it, and you?re reading it.

A bunch of people seem to have loved the movie. I loved the first half of the movie, and was pretty indifferent to the second half (save a few sequences). So I?m annoyed at this whole Two Movies deal because I don?t feel this movie was strong enough to hold its own as its own movie.

*Turns on the new Joel Plaskett Emergency album, ?Truthfully Truthfully? (which everyone should go buy)*

Hmmm? I?m seriously having a hard time putting my mind to my task at hand right now. The distractions of life and music through headphones. Weeee! I?m so undisciplined.

I?m gonna write it like a child. I hope that?s okay.

THE GOOD:
Opening scene.

THE BAD:
Closing scene.

THE GOOD:
The entire Uma Vs. Vivica A. Fox section. ?That dog of yours came in here and acted a damn fool,? is one of the best lines that Tarantino has written!

THE BAD:
Two words: ?Anime? and ?Anime.? The sequence was really pointless, and didn?t add a thing to the movie. Vivica A. Fox?s character didn?t get a big back-story, and I didn?t care. I knew she was going to die. Same goes for Lucy Liu?s character.

THE GOOD:
SONNY CHIBAAAAAAAAA!!!! Sonny Chiba really stole the movie for me. I think his scene in the restaurant is amazing, and he?s a fucking superstar!

THE BAD:
The rape stuff. YUCK!!! Not funny in any way, and just really out of place.

THE GOOD:
Go-Go Vs. Uma kicked effing ass. Even better than Uma Vs. Vivica, but without the kick ass dialogue.

THE BAD:
The black and whitening of the big fight in the House of Blue Leaves. It looked ugly as hell, and is being shown in Asia right now, in all its red blooded glory.

THE GOOD:
That Nancy Sinatra song is soooo badass!

THE BAD:
Not enough RZA music!

THE UGLY:
Uma?s feet (Leo told me to say that).

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