I highly recommend that everyone get out of a bad relationship. It is truly amazing on what an individual can accomplish when they come out of a major setback to their life. In this instance, breaking up with my former girlfriend was quite possibly one of the best things that happened to me in the year 2003. I feel like I've come out of a big storm and into a calm sea with many a weary albatross about, ready to land on the good ship S.S. Rolo.
The funny thing is, breaking up with someone is much like a nation losing horribly in a war. Take Japan for instance. After the nuclear events of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, post-war Japan grew exponentially. The world we know today owes much of its electronic advancement, animation, and cultural titbits from a growing post-war Japan. Such things as the enshrinement of Hello Kitty and Pikachu and "naked-sushi" are but the tip of the iceberg. Another example could be post-war Germany. The modern Germany has some of the newest cities, contributed advanced car design, and among other things is a leader in glider technology. There are many natural occurrences in life that resembles this phenomena. Just like life and death, spring and winter, new episodes then rerun, cycles exist everywhere. The same goes for the vicious cycle of relationships.
But I digress.
This first came to my attention less than a weeks after F-day. "F-day" was my Hiroshima of 2003. The day that I was told to "Fuck off". Click. The relationship was already succumbing to attrition and it was only a matter of time. Yet I felt totally obliterated. The need to continue on and survive kicked in.
Less than two weeks later I found myself surrounded by four lovely Greek ladies from Saskatoon in the middle of a dance floor, smashed to hell and having the time of my life. This is when I experienced a "moment of clarity". It suddenly made sense. Now you ask me, what do Annabella, Sophie, Caroline, and Efthimia have with the total obliteration of Hiroshima/Nagasaki, much less the authors abused heart? Plenty. It all has to do with new beginnings.
Just like a forest fire purges all life to make way for new life, so did the nuclear fire plant the seeds of re-growth in post-war Japan. That wonderful heart felt, ass beating that my heart and persona took from my break-up made room for re-growth. Being so busy with the survival of everyday life we often lose sight of how adaptable one can be. More than two weeks post F-day, it was literally like learning to walk again. I was back on the lively night scene and doing what I loved to do. Dance, party, meet new people, and above all, enjoy life. New experiences and sensations were the opium of the moment. I even found myself savouring the light flavour that plain old, white jasmine rice had to offer.
Less than three weeks after F-day the rekindling of an old friendship that died nearly 10 years ago began anew. A month after F-day I got tossed into the possible beginnings of a new relationship whether I realized it or not. Like all of the finer things in life; relationships, growth and healing happen to you when you least expect it. When it does happen the effects are first devastating. It often comes disguised, and while the dust is settling it is often quite hard to keep sight of how useful a clean slate can be and what is necessarily something good.
Two months after F-day, Office Slave, Level III was laid off. My Nagasaki had happened. After nearly four years of grudgly, odd and bitchy (but good) service, I was quietly shuffled out the door barely fighting back the tears. It was at this point I felt utterly desolate, devoid of anything useful. The nation of Rolo was in utter ruins with absolutely nothing left standing. I was now at the bottom of Maslow's famed "Pyramid of Needs" with my means and career destroyed and future education in extreme jeopardy. Yet, in hindsight, that crappy-ass spring and summer of 2003 bore good tidings like fresh karma refugees to Canada. Having major parts of my stable life utterly wiped out in a short span only spurred the growth new facets in my life. Five months after F-day, these terrible events strengthened my relationship and friendships and pushed me to fulfil a life long passion. I now am well on the road to owning my own business. Go figure?
Now I have no intention of minimizing the utter tragic loss of life caused by American foreign policy. But I still recommend that everyone get out of a relationship at least once in his or her life. If your relationship cannot stand up to the tempering, it was made of cheap metal to begin with. Break-ups are indeed terrible, perhaps not as terrible as some things. But when they are devastating on a personal level, the change is not something that is welcome. Something so tragic as a break-up or job loss has hidden boons. These are often covered up by the post nuclear ash of the immense change that just occurred. Fear, panic and pandemonium strike, simply because the way is now lost. Until the dust is settled the only thing to do is go forward. Only then, when one can take stock of what's left to dispute or choose to rebuild. While one is at it, why not go all the way and redevelop your self?
Hiroshima and Nagasaki happened for a reason, and so do our personal disasters. Events happen in our lives whether we like them to or not. It is how we deal with and weather them that garners us the karma, and further defines who we are. It is only when I was able to take stock of what the heck just hit me that I was able to move above and beyond what I was. I have learned more in about myself, the world, dealt with issues and tossed out old "baggage" in a compressed span of five months, in what I could have done and learned four years ago.. The load is lighter. What more can I say, I've been told to "fuck off" and boy am I loving it.
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