Something Purely Brilliant

Written by capnasty

Something purely brilliant is really what this Editorial should?ve been. The idea came to me while I was driving the other night, in between the thoughts of how good the slice of cake I ate had been and how the car I was driving has two settings for temperatures: hot and hell.

That the idea was pure brilliance, however, is the only thing I remember about it. I?ve been sitting here, on and off, staring at this file, trying to remember what it was, but the only thing that pops to mind is the fact that, back when the idea popped to mind, I realized how brilliant it was. That?s about it.

Of course I should?ve stopped at the side of the road, looked for a pen and a piece of paper and jotted down that idea. I usually carry with me the basic essentials to make MacGyver look like an inept child. That includes pen, paper and whatever is needed to build a glider using my pants and this piece of plastic I found under the seat. However I seem to lack the basic knowledge to write down a fresh idea before I forget it.

Writing things down, though, seems to sort of defy the whole purpose of doing it. Because once you?ve written it down, it?s like you can never forget it. Maybe, really, that?s the trick. You write something down, to ensure that it stays with you without having to look at the paper every five minutes. Unless of course you lose the paper you wrote it on. Then, promptly, you?ll never remember what it was.

People of course are all understanding and helpful and provide you with useful tips on how to regain lost and forgotten thoughts. ?Think backwards!? they tell me. The idea here is that you start from your most recent thought and then you work your way back to whatever it was that you were thinking of. This has never worked. I seem to manage to go off in a tangent once again, except this time, in reverse.

Someone else suggested going back in the car, doing what I was doing and seeing if the place would help my recollection. Indeed how good that cake had been popped to mind; the fact that the stupid heater in the car only has hot and hell as settings; and, naturally, that the idea was so damn brilliant it wasn?t even funny.

It also occurred to me that a few nights ago I had been stopped by police. I still am not sure as to what may have caused them to grow all suspicious on me, but perhaps the fact that I drive a beater and that I was going 40 in a 50 zone, following them, rather than passing, might?ve made me highly suspicious. They pulled up after me in the driveway, checked my ID to make sure that a guy that looks like me and drives that thing actually lives in this relatively decent area and then we discussed how their on board computer runs Windows 98. But I?m digressing and I still don?t know what the brilliant idea was.

Lastly, someone said that I should associate what I?m thinking with a specific word so that when I think of that word it will `unlock? my mind. It?s my guess that just the word `brilliance? won?t do the trick here.

Some people have no bowel control; I seem to have no mind control. My mind and I seem to be two different creatures sharing the same body. We both want to do different things and argue about it. But, ha ha, brain, I managed to write so much drivel even without remembering what the idea was about in the first place!

Of course, my brain will find a way to stall me when it comes to writing the closing paragraphs, but then again, I seem to have problems doing that on a daily basis. I don?t think he?s to blame.

Richard Campbell writes:

Con should not give me a hard on

Indeed. We only give testicles. Please return the defective issue to whomever gave it to you.