CoN at the Movies

Written by Jeff Wright

Hope you all enjoyed your one issue break from me.

First off, let me say this... Don't EVER go see DAS BOOT in a theatre!!!!!!! Maybe rent it sometime (though I really didn't like it, some of you MIGHT), but NEVER IN A THEATRE!!!!!! I went to see it with Leo and Colin the other night, and Jesus! I've never shifted in my seat more than I did in those three and a half hours. My body still isn't re-adjusted. I'm uncomfortable. Leo said that it nearly moved him to tears. I'm hoping he's confused the word "moved" with "bored".

I guess that counts as MOVIE ONE. On to...

MOVIE TWO: WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER

Funniest movie I've seen in years. Rent it or die!

MOVIE THREE: STORYTELLING

DAMMIT!!!!! I'm a huge Todd Solondz fan, but this was just bad. It had its moments, but save your money. :(

MOVIE FOUR: WHEN STRANGERS APPEAR

The new flic from Scott Reynolds, the director of THE UGLY, and HEAVEN. I love HEAVEN, and like a lot of THE UGLY. This is just a lame thriller though. Really disappointing.

MOVIE FIVE: SPACE GHOST - COAST TO COAST

Okay, so it's not really a movie, but I have just recently discovered the brilliance that is SGCTC. I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!

Okay, now even though there's still a lot of stuff I didn't see, here's my top 5 films of 2001, plus the runners up. Go watch some of them.

1. THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS

Near perfect. To avoid the embarrassment of letting you all know how much I relate to this film, I shall leave it at that.

2. IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE

One of the most beautiful romances ever put to film.

3. WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER

HOLY F'ING SHIT!!!! This film is far too funny! It's a brilliant take on the summer camp genre. WATCH IT, WATCH IT, WATCH IT!!! Funniest film I've seen since SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT.

4. MOULIN ROUGE

Sappy as all Hell. I love it though. Sue me bitches!

5. YOU SHOOT, I SHOOT

The funniest film to come out of Hong Kong this year. Why's there no DVD yet? I don't care if it flopped. DVD NOW! ARGH!!!!

My other favourite films of 2001 (in alphabetical order, with country of origin):
LE DESTIN FABLEUX D'AMELIE POULIN a.k.a. AMELIE (France)
THE BEAVER TRILOGY (USA)
CURE (Japan)
FULLTIME KILLER (HK)
HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH (USA)
KAIRO a.k.a. PULSE (Japan)
LE PACTE DES LOUPS a.k.a. BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF (France)
MONSTERS INC. (USA)
VISITOR Q (Japan)
ZOOLANDER (USA)

Okay. I've rambled for far too long. Later.

p.s.

Are the Olympics over yet? I don't care about them.

p.p.s.

I REALLY don't care about those Canadian figure skaters!!!!

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