Raiders of the Golden Testicles

Written by capnasty

Last week, while surfing the 'Net, Colin came upon a site that was distributing Golden Testicles. What surprised all of us of his discovery was to see that the drawing being used was the same one we used here on CoN.

For those that took the time to read our policies on the site, you'll see that we don't have any hesitation for our material to be redistributed, as long as it's ours (content provided by other authors retains the author's copyright), it retains the original integrity and credit is given where credit is due.

The image in question clearly didn't follow any of the above.

Now, unlike my usual self, where I go gun-blazing into a confrontation sure of my victory, I wasn't sure how I was going to win this one. You see, we're in Canada, he was in Italy. Copyright laws in these two countries work differently. And, knowing Italian law and bureaucracy, chances were that I'd grow an ulcer before anything would've got done.

A lawyer friend explained the difficulty in such cases and gave me a few files to look over to see the problems that arised from over-the-border cases.

So, I wrote to the abuser of the testicle, the most polite e-mail I could muster, telling him that we appreciated he liked our drawing, but would he be so kind to remove it, since it's ours? We'd greatly appreciate.

Proving that reading, sadly, is not a skill for the tame, he mis-understood everything we said, claimed he did not like our legal attacks of the e-mail and, as far as he was concerned, we could fornicate among ourselves.

I re-explained, again, in a kind and understanding tone that no, he did not comprehend a single word of what I had originally said. Would he please re-read the letter, we'd so greatly appreciate.

At this point, probably after having re-read the e-mail with a little more care, he told me that he had no intention of removing the image until we could prove that we owned the original. And even if we did, he'd rather pay a fine and have his site closed down. Then other colourful descriptions of how to spend our next half-hours.

I did not desist, thanked him with the sweetest of tones how we greatly appreciated his reply. As for taking legal action, if that what he wished, it could be granted. Shame, I sighed towards the end, that these things could not be solved in a friendly and amicable way.

At this point, the various people that were following this thread had sent me what they had found back. Unz had gathered his real name, real phone number and real postal address. K had sent his minions in search of weaknesses. Mnemon had discovered other information.

His second last e-mail was rather bizarre, as he seemed to regain a more human connotation to his wording. Perhaps the fact that I mentioned where we'd be sending the lawyer's documentation and his phone number which we'd call when it was going to be mailed out, might have had something at to do with that.

He, feeling like he was losing the upper-hand, said he'd either put the URL on top of the image and/or remove it at the end of March, when his domain name expired. Other than that, I was welcomed to grab on to his genitals and dangle off of them with my mouth.

So, I wrote again, as usual thanking him for his reply and how we appreciated that he'd remove the image immediately.

He wrote back and said we were going to chat on ICQ. So I immediately added him before he could add me.

"How did you find all this info out?" he asked.

"That, I'm afraid, I cannot say".

I don't know if that the fact that the e-mails were always polite, sure of themselves, had details he hadn't revealed was part of the convincing factor, but we had a decently long chat.

The fellow turned out not to be such a bad bloke after all, but he lacks understanding on proper use of other people's work. Right before the end of the very civilized chat, he said that I had high morals and that he'd remove the image immediately.

And that, he did.

Peter Steen whines like a little girl:

I work my ass off to cobble together that piece of crap article on Arden and it doesn't make Volume VII, Issue 1?

You're getting an extra-spicy sphincter roti, Gandhi boy. >:(

Richard Campbell rejoices over another hot serving of the Rev:

Good CON

Always love a good Rev in the morning

Cliffy eats mustard for breakfast:

just read your piece on mustard. now i am not nearly so anxious for breakfast. have you forgiven your sister? have you considered therapy?

I?ve contemplated murder. Enjoy this issue.