CoN at the Movies

Written by Jeff Wright

Happy New Year bitches!

I haven't been watching that many movies lately for some reason. Dunno. Here's 5 good ones, anyways.

Movie # 1 you should see: THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS

I already covered this in last issue, I know. However, I don't think you've all seen it. Why? Are you-all retarded??!?!? Am I going to have this hard a time getting you all to go see RUN RONNIE RUN, when it comes out?

Movie #2 you should see: CURE

Directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa (who may be the best director working in Japan), this is a strange and captivating film about a string of murders which seem to be connected only by an 'X' mark carved in the victims' throats. Let the creepy investigation begin!

Look for the film to be released on video sometime within the year. It's been touring around North America for the last year or two now.

Movie #3 you should see: THE STUNT MAN

This flic is a odd, but a lot of fun. It's about a convict on the run from the law, who stumbles upon a movie shoot and is hired by its director to become a stunt man as a way to hide from the law. The film director is played by Peter O'Toole, and his performance simply rocks. His camera crane rocks even harder!

If you're still not convinced to rent the movie. Within the first five seconds, we're treated to a close up of a dog licking its balls. That's movie making folks!!!!!

Movie #4 you should see: BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF

I saw this at the Toronto Film Fest back in September, and now it's opening all over North America. Go see it! It's a mishmash of genres, but it's great fun. If you like big action flics, this'll make ya happy.

Movie #5 you should see: CABIN BOY

Just rent it. It's $3 for Chrysler's sake. Rent it!

That's it for this week kiddies. Peace out. Don't let your bi-sexual grandmothers slip you the tongue, and I'll catch ya'll next issue.