The Unisex Bathroom

Written by Kelly Jones

Some may think that the creator of Ally McBeal is a genius. The idea of having a unisex bathroom in an office environment among lawyers certainly provides a lot of entertainment.

However, in reality, a unisex bathroom would never happen. It's a big lawsuit waiting to happen and most companies would never have a work environment that has potential for a feeding frenzy for lawyers.

Moreover, the bathroom rules differ between the sexes somewhat. For instance, men never talk while doing the deed at the urinals. If however, they decide to talk while at the urinals, eye contact is never made; peeking is also forbidden. It is often a nod of recognition if they know the person then, their eyes focus straight in front of them counting the odd shapes on the tiles. Only when they are done and head toward the sink to wash their hands (hopefully) that words spew out of their mouths.

Any man caught carrying a conversation with another man while going to the bathroom has broken the most sacred rule of the toilet code especially if in the stalls.

Women on the other hand can go on gabbing for 15 minutes about nothing and everything, before even going inside the stall. And, if the conversation is engaging, they continue to speak to each other while inside their respective stalls, until the sound of the flushing toilet interrupts them.

Similarly, the topics of conversation is much the same for both sexes. Both want to know of any juicy gossip among their co-workers or who is sleeping with whom in the office. Strangely enough, health or medical problems at times can be discussed among their colleagues.

Other topics most commonly spoken in these bathrooms are fashion, clothes, and fitness. Another function the bathroom is often used [other than the intended one] is deep, meaningful at times stressful decision making. How many times have you gone to the bathroom before a big presentation and either looked yourself in the mirror fix your hair, make-up or pay a visit to the toilet god? Some of us even go to the bathroom after a meeting just to vent to another co-worker and complain about how so and so should not have said certain things.

Sometimes, the bathroom can be a place of comfort. The facilities are certainly available. There is plenty of toilet paper to wipe away the tears. There is also plenty of running water. In addition, the d?cor of the bathroom is often an eyesore that it makes your problems seem less dismal than the tile colour chosen.

However, if you are looking for soul-searching songs that will make all your problems go away, think again. For some reason in the show Ally McBeal Barry White songs often play in the background when you need that boost of confidence. Moreover, you cannot do any sort of acrobatics or dance moves either. There is no automatic device that you can have where the toilet gives you a fresh flush before using it. Nor is there a secret passageway to some hiding place room to take a break from your daily duties.

And there are no dancing babies either. If any do show up, that is another story.