Decyphering Parking Signs in Toronto

Written by capnasty

I think that 90% of the City of Toronto's revenue is based off of parking tickets. On my street, today, they changed the parking signs again. They not only look shinier and prettier but they are also more incomprehensible than before.

You have to understand, parking signs in Toronto don't just say "Park" or "Don't park" or the clever "Don't even think about parking here" like they have in New York City. Parking signs in Toronto explain when you can and cannot park, what months and what days you can and cannot. Sometimes they even include the times, down to the minute. All of this with as few words as possible. These signs are as cryptic as they are anal-retentive.

It had taken me a while (roughly 10 years) to figure out that you can only park on the first 15 days of each month on the North side of the street and on the last 15 days of the month, on the South side. I mean, with me, telling you like this, it seems like child's play. But you should try translating these yourself. I bet even an Egyptologist, who figured out hieroglyphics, would be dumbfound at these. And while the old signs made no sense, the new ones leave me even more baffled.

So I arrive and notice the signs are different. It's because they are shinier, that I notice. I sat there for half an hour trying to figure out when and where someone is supposed to park. I can't. As far as I can tell, the new signs on the North side of the street want you to park there only for the first 15 days of the month starting April 1st and ending November the 30th. You can't park there the last 15 days of the month, from December the 1st to March the 30th. I haven't looked at the signs on the South side yet. That's because the two, apparently, should mix and match.

It would seem that, tonight, I am not the only one that has lost any sense of understanding to where one should park. You should see the street: there are cars parked on both sides.

The parking enforcement agents *chuckle* of course are having a field day, with half the cars already tagged with their yellow ticket. Their misfortune tells me, that the North side is the wrong place for today and I should park on the South side. At least, until the 15th of this month.

Then I'll have to figure it out all over again.

Welcome to Issue 10. As many of you know, the CoN website is slowly taking shape, thanks to the mighty and powerful hands of Colin B. Volumes 3 to 6 are currently online, with Volume 2 still in the process of being tweaked. I haven't even tackled Volume 1 yet and I think I may want to put sharp nails in my testicles before I do.

If you happen to surf the CoN website and you spot a mistake, or see something which isn't working as it should, we'd appreciate an e-mail.

Enjoy this issue.