CoN at the Movies

Written by Jeff Wright

Hey there pardners! Let's get right to it.

BREAKING THE WAVES

I can't say enough good things about this film. It's simply one of the greatest films I've ever seen. Lars von Trier kicks royal fucking ass!!!!!! I don't know what to say. This film is pure fucking brilliance!!! Emily Watson's performance is probably the best acting performance ever.

Everytime I tell someone the basic premise of the film, I get this sarcastic reaction of "Uh huh. That sounds like a great movie Jeff.", and I go nuts. So I'm not going to tell you what it's about.

Just see it. If you don't like it, fuck you!!!!!! You suck!!!!

If you've got a LD player, it's available as a Criterion Collection disc. You may still be able to find it somewhere. If you've got a DVD player, it's available as part of a 3 pack released by Artisan. It sort of pissed me off that I had to buy two other movies that I've never seen in order to get a copy, but it was well worth it.

Finally, there's a widescreen VHS version. Watch the pan & scan VHS version as a last resort. I rented it to see if I could recommend people renting it, and I can't. It looks terrible. The film has a very precise style and it's not to be fucked with.

OFFICE SPACE

This is a great comedy from Mike Judge (the creator of Beavis & Butthead, and King Of The Hill) on the hell that is shitty jobs. The main cast is mostly unknowns, or little knowns (save Jennifer Aniston) and they all put in fantastic performances. The basic premise is three guys work at a computer company. Jobs they don't like much. The company is downsizing, and the guys decide to fuck the company.

The advertising on the flick was really bad, so very few people saw it. I only rented it last week. Here's hoping that it finds its audience on video because it's a really good movie, with some great fucking scenes. There are scenes in the flick that I laughed at as hard as most of South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

If you're still not convinced to see it, most of the music is gansta rap. And if a movie about computer jockeys that uses gangsta rap ain't funny to you, I don't know what is.

EELS - DAISIES OF THE GALAXY

I know it's not a movie, but this CD rocks ass! Just wanted to sneak this in here.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS PREVIEW INTERNET CLIP

Damn! Isn't it mean to release footage this good, this far ahead of the release of the first movie? On top of that, the Peter Jackson fan part of my is fucking weeping for a new flick.

THREE KINGS

I liked this flick when I saw it in theatres, but I was disappointed. Ya see, I love Flirting With Disaster, David O. Russel's previous film. It's one of my favourite comedies, and I went into Three Kings expecting the wrong thing.

I got the DVD today, and re-watched it. It's a really good movie and if you haven't seen it, you should rent it. If you've got a DVD player, the disc is packed with extras. The best being Russel's 15 minute video diary about all the shit that comes before making a movie, and a bit of what comes after. Another great extra (though it may just be that I'm a huge Spike Jonze fan), is a 2 minute long piece directed by Jonze and starring Ice Cube on the fine art of acting. Also included are 2 commentary tracks, deleted scenes, a making of documentary, and more. Definitely worth picking up.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW

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