Love Cats (Inspired by a true story)

Written by Jeff Wright


An elderly WOMAN puts on a shawl, and heads for her front door.

Woman Bye Chester.

CU of CHESTER, her cat.

Woman Bye Felix.

CU of FELIX, another cat.

The woman continues to name off about twenty more cat names. She then leaves.


A cat walks up to her leg and rubs up against her.

Woman Hello Georgie. Why aren't you inside? Well mommy's going to get some food, and I'll be back in a couple hours or so.

She walks out and waits on the curb for her GRANDSON. Her grandson arrives, and she gets into his car..


The woman and her grandson get out and go into...


They go and get a buggy. The grandson follows her off into the cat food aisle. She begins to grab two cans at a time of canned cat food. She then hands them to her grandson to put them in the buggy. They do about ten repetitions of this until she stops. The grandson looks relieved. But then she goes and starts grabbing cans of a different brand. This goes on for about the same amount of time. It's minutes to us, but it seems like an eternity to the grandson. A LARGE MAN walks down the aisle, and looks into the buggy.

Large Man Gonna' have good sandwiches tonight eh?

Grandson (confused) Uh, yeah.

He looks at the large man as he walks away.

Grandson (Under his breath) What the fuck was that?

His grandmother, oblivious to all that just happened, nudges the grandson to get him to grab the cans of cat food in her hands.

Woman James. Pay attention.

JAMES turns around and continues to grab the cans that are passed to him. The woman stops grabbing cans and points to a bag of dry food.

Woman Get me that bag dear.

James bends down and reaches for a bag of cat food.

Woman Not that one, the other one. That one there.

James What's the difference Grandma?

Woman Fluffy, Leroy, Steven, Bobby and Eliza all like that one better.

James Okay.

James gets the right food, and puts it under the buggy.

Woman Lets go and get this rung through. I have to hurry back home to see Matlock.

James Don't you need any food Grandma?

Woman Oh yeah. I just need a couple things.

They walk off to the juice section.

Woman I need some apple juice, and I need some fruit punch.

The woman gets them and puts them in her cart. They continue into the meat section, and she grabs a package of bologna, and a package of bacon.

Woman Okay, lets go.

James That's all you're gonna eat Grandma?

Woman Yes. I have some stuff at home.


The fridge's door opens by itself to show that it's almost completely empty.


James Okay.

They go to the check out and the woman starts putting the stuff on the counter.

James Grandma, I'm just going to get some fresh air. Are you going to be okay?

Woman Yes, don't worry.

The CASHIER begins to ring it up. James walks outside, embarrassed beyond belief and lights up a cigarette. Back at the check out, the woman is still putting the cans on the counter and the cashier is still ringing them up.

CU of a clock, the hands spin around quickly to ten minutes later.

Back at the check out, the cashier rings through the final can of cat food.

Cashier That'll be...

The woman reaches into her purse.

Woman I have coupons for the special mix cat food.

We zoom into a CU of the cashier's face. Cut to a MS of the cashier. She pulls out a gun, puts it under her chin and pulls the trigger.

CUT TO:The same CU of the cashier that we had before we cut to the MS.

Cashier Okay mam. How much is it for?

Woman Five cents off each can.

Cashier Okay. Well you have fifteen cans of it, so I'll just take seventy-five cents off of your bill.

Woman But what about the taxes?

Cashier Mam, to do that, I need to ring everything up again.

Woman Oh, never mind then. I don't have the time to wait for that. You should be able to do it faster than that.

Cashier I know, but we can't. So it's okay if I just leave the tax.

Woman Yes.


The woman walks out without any bags.

James Grandma, where's your stuff?

Woman I'm having it delivered. I can't wait for them to bag it. They take forever. They should have to past a speed test before they get that job. You wait forever.

James We can just wait for a couple more minutes.

Woman No we can't, Matlock is on in precisely thirty-seven minutes. It's a continuation of yesterday's, and I can't miss it. Alexis wants me to tell her what happens, because she has a hair appointment this afternoon. And put out that cigarette.

James puts out his butt.

James Okay. Lets go.

They get into James' car.


The woman is sitting on her couch and a petting one of her cats. She turns on the television, and Matlock is on.


The bag boy is still bagging the woman's cat food.


James is driving home, and turns on the radio. "Love Cats" by The Cure comes on.