WELCOME TO ISSUE 14 of Capital of Nasty. I was close to delivering this issue in time, but it's past midnight, so despite the fact that I was nearly done in Monday, even this issue is late due to the fact that I can't think of what to write in this Editorial. So like. There.
Special Guest Editorial
Hello there. Our leader Leo N. is a little burnt out right now, so I'm stepping in to do a special guest editorial. Leo's other commitments, school, work, placement, girlfriend and family are trippin' his nutsack into a frenzy of dikplay right now so he's too busy to write. Otherwise he'd be here to write about how his other commitments, school, work, placement, girlfriend and family are trippin' his nutsack into a frenzy of dikplay right now and he's too busy to write.
I'm busy too. However, I've got a healthy sense of irresponsibility, which permits me to take a moment to write this editorial instead of fulfilling my obligations. Dammit, Dad can wait for his insulin until the end of the week.
Since I may not get a chance to write an editorial again, I will take this moment to say that way back when I wrote "Shall I Compare Thee To A Guinea Pig," for CoN, a young woman wrote in and expressed her desire to marry me.
I now accept this proposal, if it is still open.
Looking at the old CoN mailbox, we find just one letter. William, from The Purple Rabbit Runners, questions:
A bi-weekly electronic journal.So which weeks are bi?
If I may, I'd like to paraphrase John Halcyon Styn of Prehensile Tales, who had this to say about being bi. He describes himself as a "political bisexual" and would sleep with anyone he found sexually attractive. So far however, this has only happened with women. So I think then that CoN can be described as a "political biweekly." It would also sleep with anyone it found sexually attractive. If anyone out there masturbates while reading CoN, please let us know. You could get lucky!
I will close the editorial with some sage advice that has been passed on down through generations, and it's as relevant today as when it was first uttered:
"Don't ask me what the hell `trippin his nutsack into a frenzy of dikplay' means."