Welcome to Issue 8 of Capital of Nasty.
Issue 7 broke the tradition of silence from our readership and we had a response record never seen before. Our first writer is Angela:
Hokay back to reality and men are not scum. I quite like them.There are times, however, where i'm sure we have been wired verydifferently in the brain and that can be quite heartbreakingsometimes, usually just frustrating. There are things about menthat i just do not understand and probably never will. But it isimportant to keep in mind how differently the genders aresocialized! Certain behaviours are encouraged of us growing up andthis explains a lot of our thought processes and attitudes. Ohwell. They already did the whole Venus and Mars thing. I canrelate to a lot of what the author said in the "Scum" article, acouple of those things confuse and frustrate me too, but it's justnot that cut and dried.
Have you seen the commercial, i don't even know what for, where theguy and girl are watching TV, a sports match of some kind.Actually, he's watching, eating chips, and she's reading some Cosmoarticle "Is He Right For You?" as she sighs woefully at her poorchoice of a couch potato boyfriend. Then this music comes on, andthe potato dude transforms himself (in the girl's gaze only). Shelooks at his belly, and, to her delight, it transforms into awashboard stomach. His "wishy-washy" eyes change to brightpiercing blue, and so on (then he comes to her to whisk her awayand when he's right in front of her changes back to boyfriend witha thunderous belch).
You know what Leo? I was fucking OUTRAGED! That is justdisgusting. You know why? Cause what the FUCK would chicks say ifthe commercial featured some DUDE watching his girlfriend as shetransformed into some fucking Barbie doll? No, the advertisers knewbetter than to fuck with that, right? So we don't get treated tothe sight of the girlfriend turning 'look-at-me' blonde, her waistsucking in, her tits growing into delightful D cups, etc. on herway to becoming the Ideal Woman. They do a twist on that, andthink it will appeal to us! I think that commercial is fuckinginsulting to men AND women alike, and i guess that's why i can'tremember what the commercial is even flogging. The advertiser isprobably just trying to balance things. Perusing a magazine rack oncampus i overhear comments from young girls like "Oh my gawd is itPOSSIBLE to look like that?" "I'd kill for a body like hers", etc.and a quick scan of the racks reveals more gratuitous chest shotsthan i care to think about. It doesn't matter whose self-esteemis being undermined, or that women's is thought to be more fragile,that commercial is just plain unhealthy.
Off of my soapbox and into the fridge for some dinner,I remain,ME!
It was said, in our last issue of CoN, that no letter would be made fun of in the Editorial: we lied.Brian Newman also adds his few cents:
Anyone who "eats" at Subway must be Very Stupid.
Yes, you're absolutely right. Only a total fucking moron would eat at a Subway.
Every sub, with the one exception of tuna, tastes exactly like every other sub.
How do you know this? Why, you must have eaten there!
Ben Popken replies to Samantha's "Happy Easter" article:
Samantha, you state:
"I can't help but wonder if Easter has been entirely lost onthe human race. I mean, they did it to Christmas. It becameless about the birth of Christ, and more about a fat man in ared suit getting his ass stuck in our chimneys in order to fillup our overgrown socks. Where the hell did that theory comefrom??? Not to mention the Christmas tree- I mean, I'm prettysure there wasn't an evergreen growing next to the manger,which Mary happily decorated before she gave birth."
You make a very good point about the emptiness of Easter and evenChristmas, how they have become excuses for marketers to sellcandy and presents. Every year, these holidays become less andless about spirituality and more and more about crass conspicuousconsumption. However, the principal blame lies not on Hallmark orHershey or Mattel but with pagans. Pagans, prior to the arrival ofChristianity, were getting along quite fine with worshippingtrees, dancing in groves and having massive orgies, as was thecustom. However, when missionaries came along and converted the"heathens," the forrest people weren't about to just totally droptheir culture and practices and start wearing their Sunday best,punishing themselves for their sins and not masturbate. The pagansheld onto many elements of their culture and incorporated it withthe new Christian rituals.
"My question to you is, where did chocolate bunnies and eggscome in? Did everyone celebrate in his resurrection by bitingthe head off of a chocolate peter rabbit after they rolled thestone away? I just don't get it."
The holiday of easter happened to fall around the same date that acertain pagan fertility/welcoming back spring festival took placeand it followed that some of the symbols of the pagans would crossover into the new Easter celebration. The rabbit, symbol offertility due to its large litters of offspring, was one of theseand the hiding and discovery of eggs were one of the rituals. Thesame thing happened with Christmas because the tree and thedecorating of it had to do with some pagan winter solstice dealthat happened around the same time as Christmas.
However, the candy/gift-card companies are no less culpable for sosavagely capitalizing upon the holiday. But I guess, in the end,mankind itself is most to blame, for the marketers wouldn't sellthe product if there wasn't any demand. People should remain trueto the true nature of the religion and reject false elements. Butagain, I guess it's not necessarily people's fault. Eggs and candyand everything has become inexorably linked with Easter and JesusChrist and God and therefore, because it is "religious," peoplefeel compelled to go along with it. Who can argue with God?Especially when it's about eating chocolate. God can tell peoplenot to steal and our jails are filled with car-jackers, bankrobbers and lawyers. But when God tells people to eat chocolatecovered bunnies and creme-filled easter eggs, everyone listens.So, in the end, who's to blame?
Everyone. Everyone is guilty of devaluing the nature of religion.Except for me, i don't practice Easter.
I'm an atheist. I keep Christianity pure by not corrupting it withmy membership.
But I still get to buy all the chocolate at 75% off after Easter.Yummy.
"Brought to you by C.C.C.P. (Collective Communist ComputingProletariat)"
What the fuck do you mean by Communist boy? We beat them godlessBolshevic arseholes into submission. You better remove thatoffending word or I'm gonna get all NATO on yer ass.......
USA: WE ARE THE MIGHTY AMERICANS. WE TAKE SHIT FROM NO-ONE. ESPECIALLY THOSE RED-ASS COMMUNISTS.
CHINA: Kiss our asses.
USA: Ok! Would that be with tongue or without?
Alan saw the light in CoN:
There are whole novels that one could write on the issue ofstupidity in our society. One could concentrate a whole mailinglist on this issue.
Little things that happen to us in everyday life, when sharedproperly, can really make other human beings sympathize with you.
Some find that the little things that one talks about are ratherinsignificant, yet I can assure you, that it's the little thingsthat you mention in your e-zine that really stick with someoneafter they read your paper. Issues such as "bathroom etiquette"and "I dropped my pen, now I'm on a killing spree" may beconsidered non-worthy to appear on CityTV, but they sure moldone's personality and the way one sees this world.
Our next issue will be about schools and the fascist paradise.If you feel that you have a topic that CoN should cover, write to email@example.com (just hit reply to this issue). This issue issecretely dedicated to the folks subscribed to the Def Con 7mailing list.
Be good. Obey street signs. Read CoN.