Everyone Loves a Dick

Written by capnasty

Dick Eiden writes:

Please, Leandro, spare us your stupid and insulting quotes. Who the hell is E. Hubbard, anyway -- one of L. Ron's offspring? That would make sense, because rip-off artists loveCapitalism!

Prison is a Socialist's Paradise, where equality prevails, everything is supplied and competition eliminated. -- E. Hubbard

Slums filled with people of color are a Capitalist's paradise. Poor and desperate people will do ANYTHING for $$$$.
-- Dick Eiden

Dear Dick,

You'd think people would've have better things to do than worry about stuff like this. I suppose however there is a little anarchist or anti- in every one of us, and as luck would have it, I hit two religious zealots and one politically flammable individual.

In regards to my posting, I received a total of three complains that were completely off topic what-so-ever. Two of them were in regards of my header (On this day..), and one (you), about, of all things, the random quote that appears in my signature file.

I say random because each time I boot up, a small batch file called by the autoexec.bat picks a random number, extracts the related quote from a zip file, and appends it to my signature.

So let's take in examination my "stupid and insulting quotes"(although I just see one, but maybe the Mr. Bear one caused some grief as well. I could probably elaborate some sort of Socialist/Communist/Fascist theory here on how Mr. Bear is actually a dictator brainwashing the children (the workers who control the mean of production) and causing them to behave like drones (hence, control of the state over the minds of the individuals) and have them purchase the goods provided by Mr. Bear and listening like mindless idiots to what he has to say (propaganda). Or maybe you didn't get the Mr. Bear quote. If you didn't, that's a shame, since it's quite a chuckle).

Clearly E. Hubbard, whoever he is, did not spend time in an American jail. Even I, reading it, find faults in it, and could possibly sit there, if I had the time or I even remotely cared, point out what’s wrong with it. But Socialism, like Communism, works well only on paper. Or if you have lots of guns. Or if you are some University student that suddenly becomes aware of "alternative" political movements and finds everything, even the way flowers have sex in front of the children, a disgrace to the evolution of the lower class. Whatever.

And since we do technically live in a Socialist country (even though we all deny that we do), what E. Hubbard says could possibly be reasonable. However, I don't care and the last thing that I usually worry about is politics, religion and sports: you can never agree with anyone.

Right or wrong that the quote may be, next time I'll make sure I have one that Franco, Mussolini or Hitler have said, just to spark some other politically-flammable person to freak out. Or maybe I'll change E. Hubbard to Mr. Bear and the Mr. Bear quote to E. Hubbard. Boy, Icon already see the confusion socio-political students will have once they are out of their Star Trek clubs and check their mail. E. Hubbard said that on a children's TV show? Unbelievable! Get the guns! Get the Molotov Cocktails!

I say Trekkies, as one of them informed me on how Star Trek and the Cold War go hand in hand. If only I had known, I'd be giving Vulcan pinches to any communist out there, I tell ya.

Now, let's take a look at your quote:

Slums filled with people of color are a Capitalist's paradise. Poor and desperate people will do ANYTHING for $$$$.
-- Dick Eiden

So let's see.

The Capitalist (also known as THE MAN), want to have people of colour in slums. This because, and I'm thinking really hard here, so that the evil white men can control the minorities and make them do jobs that no one else wants to do so. This is so that the evil white men can rest assured that all the openings at the new McDonald down the street will be taken by well-educated Harvard white kids.

Poor and desperate people will do anything for money... well, of course, THE MAN has put bills on them (telephone bill, electric bill)and since they have no job at McDonald and can't afford the latest Nike shoes provided by child-sex-slaves in the Philippines, at incredibly high prices for rather scarce quality, crime will raise. What a revolutionary concept! Or it would be if it wasn't taking place already.

My, Dick, you sure have some dark ideas in your head. No wonder America is falling apart.

But enough with my Mr. Bear conspiracy theories, here, let me make you happy:

Most people don't require that their e-mail sig be footnoted, with three supporting pieces of evidence, and a complete bibliography. But I can see you're different. You have been exposed to a statement that does not correlate with your world view. This seems to have pissed you of royally (OH MY GOD HE SAID "ROYALLY" HE MUST BE A GODDAMNMONARCHIST TOO!). . You seem to be one of those great socialists who quotes Marx between sips of your lattes, but seem to be utterly unprepared to accept that socialism can be:

a) imperfect and there fore worthy of criticism, and
b) a subject of humour.

I apologize for exposing you to both humour and a different point of view, which as we’re both aware, cannot exist in a socialist's paradise. Or at least, can't if it's going to be populated by people such as yourself.

Slums filled with people of color are a Capitalist's paradise. Poor and desperate people will do ANYTHING for $$$$.
-- Dick Eiden

Well, you challenged me for supporting evidence, so where's yours? Prove that there has never been a person of colour who was a capitalist, or a white person who didn't live in a slum (which you’re inferring by the use of "people of color").

Poor and desperate people will indeed do anything for money (which is what I assume "$$$$" means). So will capitalists. So tell me, if that’s your definition, how do you make a distinction between the two? Capitalists are more successful criminals? Less fashionable to support around the Starbuck's crowd? What?

The next time you're sipping a nice hot and creamy latte and congratulating yourself on how ant capitalist you are, think long and hard about your AOL account. If there was ever was anti-corporate, anti-profit, pro-socialist, free speech and wealth redistribution outfit, it's AOL. You must be proud that your money goes towards them.


Leo N.
Running Pig-dog capitalist and tool of the industrial/military complex and damn proud of it

PS: By the way, if you are anti-monarchist, I'm going to call you misogynist, sexist bastard for hating Her Royal Majesty, the Queen Elizabeth II. Rule Britannia.