Written by capnasty

MANY E-MAILS HAVE ARRIVED since the last issue of CoN. The complaintsthat your humble editor wrote in the last editorial did not fall ondeaf ears, and so I was able to raise a couple of fingers on my otherhand.

The first e-mail arrives from Rev.Sean C. Rothstein-Jacobson. While Iam cutting through the entire section where he mocks me since he getsmany more replies than I do to his rants, this part deserves a mention:

INRE: 'The Last Dinosaur'
STOP DIS-ING THAT PIECE- christ onna crux folks! I take it you prefershort stories because novels require an attention span? Why dont yago crack a beer and plop down in front of the tube with the rest of"civilization" and shut it! I thought it was one of the funniestthings I'd read in a helluva long time and would LOVE IT if more ofthem appeared here (plus Leandro would get piles more abusive mailto abuse). I have never seen the movie and yet after reading thepiece, I was there! I have REAL MEMORIES of watching the moviefrom having read the damn thing. I can see it in moving framesin my head! When was the last time YOU wrote something that didthat to a total stranger? EVER? WILL you EVER write something thatevokative? If you dont have time/abilility to read it, you sure ashell dont have the right to rail it.

The best e-mail is from John Cello:

I understand your concern about the lack of e-mail you receive.I am as guilty as the rest about not corresponding.
While I read every word of each issue, I take no umbrage to thecontent of the articles. The readers who flame you about a particularissue or segment obviously don't read far enough through to get tothe unsubscribe instruction. Or the bastards just like to bitch.
E-zines are generally looked at as just that much more internetcontent. Produced by faceless entities that the average surfercould give a shit about. CapO'Nasty appeals to me because it isan open forum. No topic is sacred, which is at it should be.While I don't always agree with the content, I understand the right to have different opinions. I also understand that thereare real, live human beings producing it.
I would hate to see you change anything about your zine, save forthere to be more of it. You are all doing a great job. Keep up thegood work.

It's nice to know that someone out there appreciates what we do.Even if they don't always agree with it. And yes, there are reallive human beings behind CoN that actually do read your mails.And sometimes we even reply.

For funniest e-mail, Francisco Gonzalez (who also goes by with thename of Luke de Sade) shows us that Jason MacIsaac is lucky tohave dropped just his pen:

Hey, Capital of Nasty III. 17 was the first issue I received. Imust say that CoN kicks ass. I was laughing hard with theanecdotes the writers had to offer, but the one that "clicked"with me the most was MacIsaac's "I've dropped my pen... Time fora killing spree." Why? well, something similar happened to me.
It happened six months ago. I had a cool job, a nice girl, and Ibought a new paraqueet. I loved that paraqueet as I loved my catand my girl and my job. But everything's not good, you see. Therewas a bad week where my girlfriend realized that I wasn't givingher as much sex as she deserved (go figure) so she broke with meand went away with one of my best friends. Ok, a girl isreplaceable. Hehe, or so I thought. Then I was fired the next day.Ok, I could get another job. I still had my paraqueet and my cat.
Until my cat decided it was time to show the paraqueet who was bossin the house and ate it. The cat ate the paraqueet, ok. But hechoked on his beak.
Damn, I was demolished. But I was copping with it. You know?Everything was alright. I still had my Playstation to play withand to forget the shit that happened that week.
Then came the day. The dreaded day when I unintentionally let thePS fall to the floor and break open. It was damaged, and so was mypsyche. I almost killed my ex-girlfriend and my ex-best friend(for real) and I almost killed myself.
Just for my Sony Playstation.

MOVIES NEWS PAGE -- For those tired of having to surf several webpages just to find information about upcoming movies, Jeff Wright, our own CoN Movie specialist, has set up a page which contains all the information found worth of regurgitating in the past month. Jeff will update this page every month, and eventually (as soon as time permits) set up a digest form, so that people can receive updates directly through their e-mails. To find out more about it, or to witness this miracle in creation, you can set your browsers to surf here:


THE NEXT ISSUE of CoN will deal with Gay and Lesbians. At the time of writing we have ONE spot left. As many have asked through their e-mails (actually, only two people), CoN does accept submissions from their readers. Our only modification, beside correcting major spelling mistakes, is to edit the piece so that it fits our 72 characters per line standard.

Enjoy this issue.