I ran into my ex-boyfriend the other day while waiting for the present love of my life. It's been over a year and a half and he still doesn't have the balls to approach me. Hey, we're better off apart then we ever were together. I'm sure everyone has heard the ol' spiel "Let's be friends". Well let me tell you my little friend, that's bullshit, plain and simple. It's just a way to dump a person without feeling guilty for being a prick. Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before; SURE you were sincere when you said it. But things "Just didn't work out". What a pity, what a shame... that's life. I'm sure we all think that when we go out with someone, it will last, that love will surround you and you'll never have to be alone again. Well think again. I mean hey, I now have someone who is indeed the most wonderful person, but it took a lot of assholes to finally get to a nice fella. But the one ex that tops them all was a guy named *DJ who was by far the biggest jerk I ever had the misfortune to date.
Now, *DJ and I were friends before we ever dated. He was known as the crazy one in our group of friends, always laughing it up with his crude sense of humour. And for some bizarre reason, I was attracted to him. Well, to make a long sob story short, I had a crush on him for about 2 years before he realized I was alive and asked me out. At the time, I thought that he was the one for me, the one and only and how fortunate I was to finally have him after all these years. What a pathetic retch I was...little did I know that I would start dreading his nasty sense of humour, the way he would tell me he had a "stiffie" when ever we talked on the phone, or how he would constantly play the air drums while listening to Death Metal... ugh... what a refined piece of work, wouldn't you say so?
Since I was "head over heels" for him, I would just remind myself that I waited 2 years for him and now that I had him, I wasn't about to mess it up. I accepted his criticism about my opinions, or how he would wrestle me down like a piece of meat and crack my jaw out of place 2 times. Or how he would ignore me when he didn't want me around. That still meant he loved me right? That was his way of showing his affection, wasn't it?? I just couldn't bear the thought that he acted this way to make me upset... he wouldn't do that, because he loved me (I was his first girlfriend after all)...I'll admit, the first few months were cool, we shared a few laughs, but after it reached 6 months, things just went downhill and his behaviour towards me started to change. He didn't want to just cuddle anymore, he just wanted to screw me like I was his personal blow-up doll. He started getting "too friendly" with the other girls (even one of my close friends!) and him and one of his other friends started to hang out more (this friend also had a crush on me, and I found out that he was trying to break me and *DJ up). He ignored me for 2 weeks because of an argument we had, then he invited me to go with him the movies with a couple of friends of ours. He ignored me and told me he hated me, but when some drunk bastard beside me had tried to hit on me, he suddenly started protecting me. Oh what a hero, it took some drunkard to make him pay attention to me. After the movie, he apologized for being an asshole and asked for my forgiveness, just for him to continue to ignore me for the following week and dump me on Valentines day.
I remember all the notes he wrote to me, how he professed his love for me and told me "I hope that you'll find someone who'll love you for who you are, I hope that it's me." I confronted him about what he wrote and he said, "That's what a boyfriend is supposed to write, I didn't mean any of it". Isn't that sweet? After we unofficially broke up, most of my friends felt sorry for him (he had a sad puppy dog face at school 24/7) and they ignored me. No one wanted to mention my name to him, because "he couldn't handle it", but he was always the topic of conversation whenever they talked to me. To this day, most of them still protect him from the topic of his "ex girlfriend". It's been almost 2 years for the luv of gawd...
When the whole gang met for New Years last year, he would just glance over in my direction then turn away. Or he would start some chit chat with a few nasty remarks, where I would reply, "Why in hell are you talking to me for?" To this day, we still don't talk, and I've heard from my friends how "sorry" he was or "what a jerk" he was. Like I care. If he really wanted to be friends after we broke up, he would have tried to confront me by now and talk about it. But we both have someone else, and it took a horrible relationship to make us realize that we were DEFINATELY not made for each other.
Sure, I've had other ex's, some worse than *DJ, others less. But because of him, I went through hell: one night stands, not thinking I was good enough for anyone, and that I should keep my mouth shut because no one cares what I think, But that's all in the past, and though I hated him for a very long time, I don't have a vendetta against him anymore. There's a BBQ coming up, where I will see his new girlfriend and he will see my fianc?. Hopefully we can both be civil towards each other and maybe in a few years, we'll finally be able to say "hello" to each other without grinding our teeth.