WELCOME TO CoN III.11. Besides being labeled as the "Most boring e- zine" on the net from a former reader, we have also received our very first web-award. That's right, instead of receiving further media coverage, finally some poor soul out there visited our page and deemed it worthy enough of an award. "Edsil Tarkingham's Hunka Hunka Burnin' Website" award can be seen, with its lengthy comment, on our newly created awards page, here:
LETTERS - John Rosati sends us his comments from our last issue, including some new techniques in how to get rid of a body:
Some good articles this issue. That ignorant slut who wanted to unsubscribe must work for the U.S. Postal service. She has some serious anger problems. She must beat her husband. Anyway, interesting article on how to get rid of a stiff. You left out a way that leaves no mess - Pigs. Yes, our curly tailed friends love to eat bodies and will leave no remains. There was a murder of a family of 4 in the town I grew up in out in California about 20 years ago and it took them months to "find the bodies". All they found were a few bone chips. Keep up the good work. JR
For those that don't have pigs, "IGNORE the HYPE" has sent in the following idea:
If you're going to kill someone you should try and ensure that it is a small person. This way you could easily dispose of the body by eating it over a period of a month or so (obviously keeping it in a freezer). Use the bones to make a tasty broth for soup or stew. Give the gooey parts to a dog (they love gooey things) and mulch up the rest of the left over chunks and go throw them on a local community garden. You've not only helping yourself, but you neighbours as well. And, best of all, you're cutting way down on your food bill...even cheaper than shopping at No Frills. Of course if you're a vegetarian this method won't work...
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CoN? - Apparently, beside a request to see more commentary on stupid people (does our readership have anyone in mind?), the most popular request has been to have more sex. We'll see what we can do.
Send in your comments, requests to be unsubscribed (dream on), ideas and what you'd like to see on CoN in the near future, to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have a great one folks.