WELCOME TO ISSUE 10 of Capital of Nasty. But before I go any further:
Suzanne Schumacher writes:
vUNSUBSCRIBE ME!! Do it manually, footfully, any way you want, just do it DAMN IT! It's become the most fucking, boring waste of time imagineable! And by the way, Who the hell gives the least amount of fuck about Fabrizio, Maurizio, or how-the-hell-ever-he-called-himself on the Titanic, nobody! That's why he was only there for five minutes!
Sometimes words are just not enough, but... fuck off anyway.
Ahhh. That felt good. With that out of the way, I have an important notice to make our readership aware. A while back we published a rewritten script of the Titanic. Well, the article was copyrighted and by another author, rather than the one we published. "Clash of the Titanic" was printed in Eric's weekly humor column of BYU's Daily Universe newspaper on February 9th this year, and has been copied and altered on the Internet since, and a lot of people have used the chance to put their name on it. In case you did not know, doing such a thing is very illegal.
Fortunately after explaining to Eric what had happened, he granted us the rights to continue displaying the story on the web site (there have of course been changes to reflect the original version).
Eric can be reached by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or you can visit the "Clash of the Titanic" web site at http://www.burgoyne.com/pages/edsnider/writings/du26titanic.html.
ICQ - FOR THOSE of you that use ICQ, you will probably be shocked to learn that it has been bought by AOL for a mere $300 million dollars (part cash, part AOL stock). AOL originally tried to compete with ICQ with their Netscape/AOL combined messenger, which really sucked and offered nothing compared to what ICQ offers us today. ICQ has over 14 million users worldwide, the Mirabilis web-page marking as fourth as most visited page through the entire world. What does AOL plan to do now? Send us AOL each time we start the program up? I certainly hope not.
The best site to visit for information and to vote against the buyout is probably this one: http://members.xoom.com/absolutez/
And yes, I am on ICQ: 889318.
THE LAST DINOSAUR - The numbers in victims that have read the whole article keep rising. Paul, Karma (who likes our stuff better than what he has to read in English literature class), REVSCRJ and lastly an Engineer named Joe Wilger have all written to inform us that they too went through the story and suffered minimal trauma. Frankly, I found it a better read than, say, Joseph Konrad's "Heart of Darkness"... oh the horror, the horror...
And lastly, special thanks to Chuck Collins who made us notice that our clocks were one year behind.
Just one last request for those that actually managed to read this far: WHAT would YOU like to see in CoN? Anything particular we should write about or be nasty about? Send in your requests by replying to this issue and we will do our best to sneer at you.. err I mean, see what we can do.
I HAVE DIRECT PROOF OF MICROSOFT ANTI-COMPETITIVE PRACTICES! CALL THEUS JUSTICE DEPARTMENT!
"A young Editor find proof of the ultimate cover-up. A grizzled alcoholic lawyer has to protect him from the evil Microsoft corporation. Bill Gates hires death squads!" --From "This Program Has Performed an Illegal Operation and Will Be Shut Down." The NewJohn Grisham novel